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Only If: Days Before You Came by R. Paone : Book Blast

October 7, 2015 by Denise

Title: Only If: Days Before You Came

Series: Only If Series

Author: R. Paone

Genre: M/M Contemporary Romance

Release Date: September 14, 2015

“Days Before You Came: An “Only If” prequel novella.

Robert had weeks to prepare for the next big step in his life. That was graduate school and there was plenty to worry about. Before love, there was school. Before having time, there was no free minute to think.

Before Mitch, he didn’t find love.

Before there was “Love is Found,” there was “Days Before You Came.”

This is the starting line. “

“Are you sleeping?”

My eyes cracked open. I was still lying in the bed of grass. I am glad my dream was a true account of what happened the night before. I sat up and smiled as Mitch was standing over me with a grocery bag of food he picked up from the market. He was looking at me with such intent and determination. We were headed to the local art museum downtown but stopped by the adjacent park to have some lunch. I looked at my cell phone, I must have fell asleep for about five minutes. A good dream, nonetheless. It’ll happen again, I know it.

He emptied the contents of the bag onto the a bath towel we grabbed from his apartment and turned his gaze to me before even opening the container of hummus and bottle of water.

“I have something I have to tell you.”

I held my breath and waited… “

R.Paone started on this writing journey in June, 2014. From events that were beyond his control, he decided to start this new path in his life before my 30th birthday. It has been quite the journey mapping out this story arc. He has learned so much writing a novel in that it has been therapeutic and also eye opening as it evolves. He hopes everyone will enjoy what is to come from the “ONLY IF” series as I want this to be something anyone could reach for and say “that could happen to me.” Stay tuned! Three fun facts about him is: he live in NYC, has a vast horror movie collection and has a great appreciation for Enya.

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Where Wishes Go by S.A. McAuley : Blog Tour, Excerpt, and Giveaway

October 6, 2015 by Denise

Title: Where Wishes Go

Author: S.A. McAuley

Genre: M/M Contemporary Romance

Published: October 2, 2015

Publisher: Dreamspinner Press

Can you have a second chance at a first love?

Nick Paine is just starting to return to normal after he told his wife he’s gay and asked for a divorce. Despite a daughter he loves dearly and a job he believes in, part of him is stuck in the past. He’s never forgotten the first love he let fade away fourteen years ago.

Adam “Izz” Azzi has settled into a happy rhythm. His daughter is healthy, he’s found a mosque that accepts him, and his work as a modern artist is gaining international attention. While his past is fraught with mistakes and what-ifs, his life now is good, and he doesn’t want to upset any of the balance he’s worked so hard to achieve.

When Nick and Izz are reunited by luck and fate, their attraction is just as undeniable, but what was left unsaid haunts them. They have hope for a future together, but wishing may not be enough.

The first book of Sam’s that I read was Damage Package and I just loved it, but I had not been able to pick up another one of her books since, and I forgot how mesmerizing her writing was. She draws you into the story, but giving you a picture of the MC’s entire lives, not just the relationship they are creating to bring their HEA with eachother.

In this book, Nick and Adam, fell apart after being friends/mutual jerk-off buddies in high school. Not having come out until he decided to divorce his wife, Nick had some baggage to deal with, along with a daughter he adored.

Meanwhile, Adam, still so hurt from the way Nick just stopped talking to him after high school, had not just some baggage, but an entire cartful. In recovery, with a daughter of his own, who had medical issues from birth, and a layer of pain and mistrust from Nick a mile wide.

What impressed me so much about this book was the way Sam was able to bring so many things together that I just hadn’t imagined. Having a gay MC that is a devoted follower of Islam, helping to break such a strong stereotype of Muslims. Adam finding a mosque that would accept all of him into their fold.

Then Nick who was described as “Christian-ish” (or something similar), not necessarily a follower of organized religion. Yet these men were able to make their lives work cohesively. Both their children were the strength and focus of their lives, even having the same birthdays (great touch!).

My heart broke as they dealt with a family crisis, yet, I loved that they were able to keep themselves together as a family unit, with all the extended family and friends present throughout, as they worked through it.

My final determination is 4 pieces of eye candy.

Ever since I read a book by McAuley she has been an automatic buy/read for me. Where Wishes Go will definitely be at the top of my favorite reads. The array of characters in this book was freaking fantastic. The secondary characters definitely made the book an enjoyable read as everyone needs BFFs to share everything with.

Nick, newly divorced after telling his wife he was gay, is sole caretaker of their daughter as well as the VP of a hospital. He is happy with how his life is, but wants to start dating except he is not sure where to start.

Adam, a not-so-starving artist, has had more obstacles to overcome than any one person should have to deal with. He has a Mosque that accepts his lifestyle and he couldn’t be happier with life than he is right now, except 1 thing is missing – His first true love.

Nick & Adam were once best friends, but for unforeseen reasons they lost touch. Each is not sure what the main reason is, but they know they both loved each other. Where Wishes Go follows their story of what ifs, close family & friends and possibility of second chance.

What if – they lived in the same town?

What if – Nick gets dragged to attend an Art Gallary?

What if – Adam’s “art piece” at said gallery was inspired by Nick?

What if – They walked away for good?

OMG…..This story was one of kind. I was not expecting to fall in love with Nick & Adam. I was not expecting to laugh out loud at Uncle Daniel & Uncle Roban (seriously they made the story even better). I was not expecting to feel absolute heart break for Adam and the difficulties from his past. I sure as SH$T was not expecting to feel completely broken down & ripped through a parents worse nightmare. And I was not expecting to than be built back up to happiness, love, acceptance and family!

To S.A. McAuley: You are phenomenal – the writing is flawless – the characters were outstanding. You took a generic story of second chances and turned it into a masterpiece of emotions. I laughed, I cried, I screamed (literally out loud), I smiled from ear to ear, and I really enjoy Nick & Adam’s intimacy & pillow talk.

* If you are looking for a love story that will make you wonder if they will come out on top – Then this is the story for you.

* If you are looking for a story that will challenge what you think will happen – Then this is the story for you.

* If you need porn on pages than this is not for you. Their scenes are sensual & exciting which completely fit the book!

4.5 pieces of eye candy

“There is so much complexity to this story and I absolutely LOVED it all. Each of the main characters were so well written that you feel like you are truly getting to know them. I enjoyed the depth of their feelings as they were written on the page because it make me feel like I was the one going through those emotions. Great read and can’t wait to see more!” ~ Book Junky Girls

“All in all, this is a sweet second chance love story. It’s not just about romance, though- it’s about family and friendships- and it will leave you with a smile on your face. A solid 4 stars.” ~ Goodreads Reviewer

“Wow. Just… wow. This story was beautiful. Exceptional, heart-wrenching, gorgeous. The Romance genre is full of “love at first sight” stories, but this is a story about two men who fell in love as teenagers– fell in love slowly, painfully, piece by piece– and then were separated for years. It’s about never forgetting your first love, and getting a chance to reconnect and rekindle that relationship.” ~ Just Love Romance

CHAPTER ONE

NICK PAINE tried to duck as a gigantic scarlet bird whipped over his head and he began to lose his balance. The first airborne attack was followed a second later by a screech and another swooping red streak that caused him to crouch and fall to his knees. At least he was wearing jeans today instead of a suit.

Katie snorted, let loose a torrent of giggles, and pointed. “He’s not going to hurt you, Daddy.”

“Isn’t it me who’s supposed to be telling you that?” Nick scrunched his eyebrows together and tried to chastise his daughter while also searching the birdhouse for further threats.

Katie rolled her eyes and flipped her long blonde hair off to the side, appearing much older than her eight years. “Come on, Daddy. I’ll protect you.” She offered her hand, and Nick grinned as he stood, taking her tiny hand in his.

It was a Wednesday morning, one in which Nick should have been sitting in a colorless conference room listening to doctors and administrators fight each other over inane operational details, but despite the threat of being pecked to death by tropical birds, Nick didn’t want to be anywhere else.

It was rare he was able to escape from work during the day, and this field trip to the zoo with Katie’s class had been the perfect excuse. The hospital system was always there. It was a twenty-four-hour seven-day-a-week commitment of utter chaos. Nick still wasn’t quite sure how he’d ended up as a vice president by the age of thirty-three, but had to concede his success had a lot to do with the inordinate number of hours he spent downtown. His generous salary was meant to compensate him for the endless hours on call talking nurses and cardiologists off the ledge while also making sure all their equipment and staffing needs were met. He loved his job and he was good at it, but it took him away from Katie way too much for his liking.

Nick pushed aside thoughts of the hospital. He would be flooded with e-mails, texts, and voice mail as soon as he switched his cell back on. Instead he listened to Katie patter on about the different kinds of birds that filled the zoo aviary.

“How do you know so much about them?” Nick asked as he forced his complete attention back to her.

Katie shrugged in a gesture that was too much like her carefree Uncle Roban. “I watch the National Geographic channel.”

“That much?”

Katie huffed. “Yeah, Daddy. A lot. Loads and loads.”

Nick restrained a laugh. Where had she come up with that phrase? She was growing up so fast. Much too fast for his liking. The years just kept slipping by, and as hard as his path had been as of late, Nick was grateful for the luck he did have. Katie was a beautiful girl. Tall and thin, just like her momma, she had blonde hair shades lighter than his that ran down to her waist and snarled easily with how fine it was. He’d given up attempting to brush the mats out a year ago, leaving the task to Katie’s grandmother or her nanny.

“Look at the baby geese!” Katie exclaimed, letting go of his hand and running full tilt down the pathway toward the birds. Then just as suddenly she was veering off again, a delighted squeal emanating from her. “A waterfall!”

Nick dug into his pockets as he walked to catch up, knowing what she was going to ask even before she said anything.

“I want to make a wish,” she pleaded, looking up at him with wide eyes.

Nick placed a quarter in her outstretched hand, earning a satisfied smile from her.

She scrunched her eyes tightly closed and whispered something Nick couldn’t hear, then tossed the coin into the water.

“What did you wish for, baby girl?” Nick asked, as was part of their routine.

“Daddy, you know I can’t tell you,” she protested with a pout. “Or else it won’t come true.”

Of course he knew that. Katie wanted to flip a coin into every fountain they encountered. And she always went about it as if her whole existence was placed into making that one wish come true. But she never told Nick what it was that she silently hoped for.

Nick had to wonder if she would remember this later on. If she would remember what she wished years from now, or at the very least remember enough to tell him later whether or not they came true.

Nick looked into her brown eyes—so much like his but with a fire that was all her own—and his breath caught. Yeah, he was just about the luckiest man in the world. She stood on her tiptoes, cupped her hands around his cheeks, and planted a kiss on his lips that left Nick with an ear-to-ear grin that he wouldn’t be able to wipe off for hours to come.

A PLOP of wet plaster slid down Adam’s head, over his neck, and dripped under the collar of his shirt as Miriam’s laughter receded into the next room.

Well, then. He supposed he deserved that.

He’d been leaving Miriam to her own devices for far too long as he worked nearly nonstop to meet his deadline. Left on her own, Miriam would fill her time with the mischievous, surreptitious, and wicked dealings that could only be born of an Azzi. She was quiet like him, shy at first meeting, with the same black hair and chiseled features that stood out despite her age. Also like him, she was a goof when in her comfort zone, and Adam’s loft—even though it was a professional workspace—was one of the places she was most comfortable in. She had unlimited access to paints, pens, pencils, paper… and the plaster she’d just chucked at his head.

Adam picked up a stained rag and swiped the plaster off the back of his neck. “Miriam!”

He turned on his stool, rotating to face the kitchen area where Miriam peeked her head around the corner, hazel eyes wide and innocent. But Adam knew better than to be fooled by her appearance. He crooked a finger and pointed to the spot next to him.

She crawled on hands and knees, her eyes going Disney forest creature in size as she got closer to him, and Adam had to bite back a laugh. When she got to his feet, she sat with her legs crisscrossed, hands on her knees, and waited patiently for him to say something.

She was such a good kid. Wild at times, yes. But he’d been the same when he was her age. Unlike his upbringing, though, he was never going to allow Miriam to fear what kind of punishment she would receive. To others it might have made him seem like a soft father, but Adam had rules that were nonnegotiable and rules he expected her to challenge and break. He was always fair. Consistent. And he never touched her in anger. That alone made her childhood vastly different than his. Adam was going to protect her innocence as long as he possibly could.

“Miriam—” he started.

“Yes, Baba?” she interjected, then bit at her bottom lip.

Adam sighed. Whether it was genetics or environment, she was so like him it scared him some days.

“Why did you throw plaster at my head?” He asked the question in all seriousness, then heard how ridiculous it all sounded, looked at the growing smirk on his daughter’s face, and that was enough to send him into a fit of uncontrollable laughter. Adam swooped her off the floor and hugged her to his chest, tickling her ribs. Miriam squirmed and protested, her high-pitched giggle filling the studio.

“I love you, Miri,” he said as he squeezed her tight.

Miriam tucked her head into Adam’s neck and pulled her arms in so Adam had her wrapped securely.

“I love you, Baba.”

Adam’s heart was full almost to bursting. The laughter was enough to give him a second wind. He needed to work. He had to get this sculpture done. But he didn’t want to let his little girl go.

“Finish, then play with me, ’kay?” Miriam offered.

Adam started to tear up. She knew him better than any person in the world. This brilliant, vivacious, too smart for her own good little girl was his best friend. And Adam wouldn’t have had it any other way.

“Yeah, yeah. No more plaster, though,” he chastised her, then kissed the tip of her nose.

Miriam rubbed her nose in protest and squirmed out of his arms, already retreating at full speed. On to another adventure.

Adam sank onto his stool and turned back to his sculpture. Less than three weeks until his next show. And this piece, the focal point of the entire fiasco, had to be done by then. But Adam found himself pushing the work off. He sought inspiration and didn’t find it. He would rather not show it at all than display something that was so… incomplete.

He picked up his brush and studied the form, then put the brush back down. His fifteen-year high school reunion had been last weekend and he’d had no desire to go, but the memories had been inescapable regardless. It was those memories that had led to this piece…. Led to this creative fog he couldn’t force himself out of.

He would eat first. Maybe they’d take a walk. He’d do his afternoon prayers with Miriam, grounding himself in the tradition of his faith. He wasn’t as active in his practice as his mom was, but he still found strength in the words and tenets. In Islam, he found calm, and a connection to his family and to something that was greater than him.

Then, maybe then, his head would be clear enough to see this project to its end.

CHAPTER TWO

“NO, ROB,” Nick said definitively into the Bluetooth mic above his driver’s seat.

“Come on, dude!” Roban yelled on the other end of the phone, and Nick had to turn down the volume on the car speakers because of the sheer volume of the accent-tinged wail. It was only when Rob was really excited or drunk that his Indian accent started to slip through.

Nick took a deep breath and rested his elbow on the armrest. “This is my first day off in five months. I want to spend it with Katie.”

“She’ll be asleep—” Roban started at the same time that Katie, from the backseat, said, “I’ll be asleep, Daddy.”

Nick frowned. Well, then. Apparently the wee ones were joining forces on this one.

“Roban—” he tried again.

“Niiiick,” Roban answered.

Nick stole a glance in the rearview mirror where Katie was strapped into her seat. She had her arms crossed and a disapproving scowl on her face that would make her Uncle Daniel proud.

“Fine,” he relented and Roban gave a much too excited whoop in response. “I’ll go out. But not too late. I have to be at work early.”

“You’re always at work early,” Roban reminded him. “Live a little before your cardiologists drive you into a heart attack.”

“Fine,” he repeated. “But I’m going to drive.” He could try to keep some measure of control over the situation.

“Nope. We’re cabbing it. I’m getting you fucking wrecked. Shit, sorry, Katie,” Roban backtracked, as if he was just remembering he was on speakerphone.

“No worries, Uncle Ro,” Katie yelled from the backseat.

“That’s my girl. Now, Nick. I expect to see you in something else besides a button-down shirt and tie. We’re going downtown. Mayhem will ensue and you must be appropriately attired.

“It’s a Wednesday,” Nick reminded him.

“Willful Wednesday at the Screamin’ Shillelagh,” Roban responded with a laugh.

Nick stopped at the red light and hung his head in defeat. “Can’t we stay in the burbs?”

“I’ll pick you up at eight” was all Roban said, then his car notified him the call had ended.

Nick shut off his cell and threw it into the passenger seat, then pulled away when the light turned green. Roban would be the death of him. At the very least, the odds were in their favor to end up in a full-on street brawl after closing time. Either way, it wouldn’t be a boring night. Nick chuckled to himself.

“Who do you want to come stay with you, baby girl?” he asked Katie as they drove toward home. Katie was twirling her hair, deep in thought, when Nick glanced back at her. “What is it?” he asked with an edge of worry.

“Can you call Momma? See if she’ll come stay with me?”

Nick restrained a sigh and tried not to feel defeated at the sadness in Katie’s voice.

“Yeah, baby girl. I’ll call her when we get home.”

All laughter wiped away, Nick gripped the steering wheel and steeled himself for the call he was going to have to make.

“I KNOW you’re in there, Azzi. I can smell the incense. Rather pungent even from out here. Open the door.” Charlie’s voice came from the hallway.

“Nobody’s home,” Miriam called out with a teasing lilt, then giggled.

Adam grinned and dropped his brush next to the paints, getting up to let Charlie in. It was pointless to try and keep the persistent gallery owner out even if Adam wanted to, but right now, he needed the reassurance. He was falling heavily into his brooding artistic stupor, sure in this moment that everything he had ever created was complete and utter shit, and that Charlie was a fool for wanting Adam’s work anywhere near his gallery. Adam needed some heavy petting of his artistic ego. And if anyone could do that, it would be Charlie Wells.

Charlie slipped his suit jacket off his lithe shoulders as he came in the door and then tossed the coat into a chair. “Good afternoon, Ms. Azzi,” he greeted Miriam and planted a kiss on her head.

“Good afternoon, Mr. Wells,” she responded with a smile.

“Miri, could you give Charlie and me a moment?”

Miriam lined up the pencils fanned out around her sketchbook and gathered everything into her arms, walking into the bedroom and pulling the door shut without question. She was used to this scenario by now. As much as she was an inspiration for Adam, he was clear on the boundaries of not letting her into his sullenness when it threatened to drag him under.

“Tea?” Adam offered and led Charlie into the kitchen.

“Please. With a shot of Jack if you have it,” Charlie requested.

Adam filled the kettle and set it on the stove. “You know I don’t drink, Charlie.”

“Not even thinking about it right now?” he prodded.

Adam leaned down on the counter, resting his elbows there and running his fingers through his mess of hair. He couldn’t remember if he’d showered yet today. Or yesterday.

“Yeah, I’m thinking about it,” he answered honestly. There was no point in hiding his darkness—or his continued recovery from it—from Charlie.

“Do I need to check the cabinets?”

Adam shook his head. “You can if you want. But, alhamdulillah, I don’t have anything.”

Charlie perked up immediately, tucking his brunet hair behind his ear. “Excellent. Now tell me, oh tortured soul. Where is the delay in your work coming from?”

The kettle began to whistle and Adam lifted two cups from the cupboard and set them on the counter. He took his time picking out which tea he wanted, using the quiet seconds to try and piece together his answer. He set the teabags into the cups, turned the stove off, and filled them with the hot water, then slid one cup into Charlie’s hands.

“Well?” Charlie pushed.

Adam took a sip of his tea that scalded his tongue, but he barely registered the pain. Yes, he definitely needed Charlie right now.

“It’s the piece.”

“Ah, the piece,” Charlie drew out.

“I don’t know if I can finish it.”

Charlie seemed to consider that. He twisted the mug in his hands, then lifted it to his lips to blow the steam away before taking a sip. “Talk to me.”

Adam nearly slammed his cup down, the liquid sloshing over his fingers. His anger took hold without thought or a valid target. “Talk to you? You know why this piece is difficult for me and yet you continue to push me on it. It’s too personal. Too raw. Maybe it should remain as unfinished as what it represents.”

Charlie cracked his neck and studied Adam, as unaffected as usual by his outburst. “Your other pieces in this show are just as raw, Adam. Just as emotionally challenging. For fuck’s sake, you have a whole set dedicated to Lily. You’re stumbling on this piece because you’re scared. There’s no other reason for it. Yes, it represents an old, unfinished part of your life. But it’s a part of your past that you need to embrace in order to move on. Art is not about being emotionally bereft. It’s about digging into the most painful and vulnerable aspects of our lives and bringing them to the surface for others to witness and understand. You’re scared, Adam. It’s not that this piece is unfinished, it’s that you are unfinished. And I think you’re scared of putting that part of your life to an end. That if you finish that piece, it will mean the relationship it represents is just as definitively over as the one you had with Lily.”

Adam ground his teeth together, trying to grasp on to his anger and use it to viciously protest just how wrong Charlie was. But he couldn’t. It was exactly what he’d been thinking. The more he worked around the edges of the mixed-media sculpture of plaster, paint, and fabric—the more he stubbornly refused to fill in the details of eyes, nose, and lips—the more he understood that this face was one that he was fighting to conjure into existence because it was so much safer tucked away as a memory.

If that sculpture was never finished, then he could continue denying that the person it represented had left a gaping wound in his soul that he didn’t know how to fill.

Charlie leaned forward and took Adam’s hands in his. “Is this the appropriate time for me to remind you that you are a successful artist because you bare your soul in your work? That people are drawn to what you create because it gives them a visceral reaction? Do I need to pull up the most recent reviews from the paper? ’Cause I’m sure I have them bookmarked on my phone.”

Adam gave a small laugh. “Yes, but no.”

Charlie tipped Adam’s chin up to meet his eyes. “You can do this, Adam.”

“I don’t know if I can.”

“You can,” Charlie said with more determination this time. “And you will be better off for it.”

Adam felt the tears welling up in his eyes and forced them back down. If Charlie believed, then Adam would find a way to as well. “Okay.”

“THANKS FOR coming, Shelly,” Nick said as he held the door open.

Katie came barreling around the corner and jumped into her mom’s arms. Katie buried her face in her mom’s neck and wrapped her arms around Shelly in a tight hug.

Nick’s heart ached at the sight.

Katie missed her mother more than she ever let on. She was a smart kid and she’d known when things started to turn south for him and Shelly. But Shelly’s abrupt departure from the house and her distance since then had been selfish—without thought to Katie’s needs—even if it was justified by Nick’s actions.

Shelly couldn’t look at him and she didn’t say a word as she stepped foot in the house she hadn’t been in for over a year. Nick clicked the door shut and followed them into the living room. Katie dropped out of her mom’s arms and looked between the two of them, a sad resignation filling her eyes that seemed to tug Nick’s heart right out of his chest.

He squatted down to Katie’s level and took her hand. “You think you could give your mom and me a chance to talk before Uncle Roban gets here?”

Katie tipped her chin up, giving him a smile that he knew was her brave one—a defensive tactic supplied by Uncle Daniel when the divorce had gotten ugly. “Can I go watch TV?”

“Of course, baby girl. We’ll be back in a minute.”

Nick stood as Katie ran off and gestured for Shelly to follow him.

“Can I get you anything to drink?” Nick asked to cut the tension.

Shelly stood stock-still behind the counter, separating herself from him, her arms crossed. “No. I know where everything is.”

Nick flinched.

It had been over six months since he’d last seen her and he couldn’t deny that she looked good. Much better than she had when they were in the throes of the divorce. Her blonde hair was cut short in a bob that accentuated her high cheekbones and clear blue eyes. She was thinner, but not unhealthy, and was dressed in a white tee and jeans with sandals. It was a casual look that reminded him of their time together in college. But nothing about her appearance had any physical effect on him. It hadn’t for at least two years. Not since he’d finally admitted to himself that he was gay and it was time to stop pretending.

“Thank you for coming.” He was repeating himself, but he needed her to understand his appreciation was genuine. “I know it’s hard being back here, but Katie can’t sleep anywhere else and she really wanted to see you.”

Shelly gave a dark laugh. “You said that on the phone.”

Nick crossed his arms, then uncrossed them. He had to try not to be defensive. “I know. I just want you to know I’m thankful. It has to be hard to be back here.”

“Who are you going out with?” she demanded.

Nick couldn’t find fault in her reaction. He knew what she was really asking: If he was seeing someone. If he was heading out to be with a man. Well, technically he was, but not as she thought. “Just Roban and Daniel.”

She sat down at the barstool and hunched forward, settling her chin in her hands. She looked away from him and Nick let her think. After a minute of quiet she spoke, but she still couldn’t look at him. “I miss you, Nick. I know I shouldn’t, but I do. I miss this house. I miss our life. And I miss Katie. It’s just all too much. It still is.”

Nick leaned against the refrigerator, backing away from the counter and giving her space. “I can’t pretend to really know, but I get it. Just—” His voice started to crack and he had to swallow around the surge of emotion. “Just try to remember Katie. Okay? She misses you too.”

Shelly wiped away a tear and faced Nick. “I’m a shit mom.”

Nick took a step closer to her and when she didn’t cringe back, he stepped up to the counter across from her. “No. You’re not. You need time to heal too. We all do. She knows you love her. And being here is huge. So thank you.”

Shelly nodded and sucked in a deep breath.

The doorbell rang, mercifully sparing them from having to speak any more, and Nick tapped his fingers on the counter. “Call me if anything comes up. I left my cell number on the refrigerator. You know, just in case you don’t have it saved anymore.”

“Okay,” she acknowledged.

Nick hesitated for a moment, unsure of how to leave things, and then decided to say nothing else. He crossed into the living room and trapped Katie in a hug where she sat on the edge of the coffee table watching another nature show. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning, ’kay?”

She planted a quick kiss on his arm, distracted by the images on the screen. “Yes, Daddy.”

He kissed the top of her head, then ruffled her hair, receiving a squawk of protest, then a laugh.

Nick let her go reluctantly and went to the door, swinging it open to find Roban in a football jersey and ripped jeans that contrasted with the aesthetic of his modern pompadour and vintage bowling shoes. Rob hitched his thumb over his shoulder. “Let’s go, Nicky. Mayhem awaits!”

And with that, Nick found himself smiling again.

I sleep little, read a lot. Happiest in a foreign country. Twitchy when not mentally in motion. My name is Sam, not Sammy, definitely not Samantha. I’m a pretty dark/cynical/jaded person, but I hide that darkness well behind my obsession(s) for shiny objects. I’m the macabre wrapped in irresistible bubble wrap and a glittery pink bow, I suppose.

I have a never-ending-abyss-like secret love for poetry. Especially Rumi, Hafiz, and Neruda. You can predict (as well as change) my moods and my writing schedule by my playlists.

Insomnia is my greatest ally and my nemesis. I like cheese and bourbon, not necessarily in that order, but I’m flexible.

If you’re in any fandom, then I’m probably already in love with you. I’m not joking.

I like my tv shows marathoned and I have to use internet blocking software to be productive. I have software called Producteev that I loaded onto my laptop and proceeded to fill out in detail and now I haven’t touched it in a year.

I enjoy normalized chaos. Hit me up! I love to hear from readers. xx-Sam

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Chance at Life Trilogy by Havan Fellows : Reviews Book 1 and 2

October 4, 2015 by Denise

Chance at Trust:

The strength to walk away from an abusive long-term relationship proves Em is a survivor. But surviving isn’t necessarily living, and Em has created a life on a plateau of his own making, not even entertaining the idea of a new boyfriend. When he shows interest in a very sexy barista, his best friend sees a chance to open Em’s eyes to the possibilities in life.

Penn couldn’t help his double and triple take when the sexy man walked into his mother’s coffee shop. Priding himself on always remaining calm and collected in all situations, Penn is surprised by the strength of his attraction for this stranger. When the stranger’s loud-mouthed friend proposes a way for Penn to see Em again, he takes it.

While Em comes with baggage—his eyes tell a story of pain and distrust—Penn isn’t one to shy away from a challenge, especially when his heart is so quickly getting tied up in the equation, and he’s prepared to break through Em’s walls and give him a chance to trust.

This was my first read by Haven Fellows. I try to stay away from short reads as I feel there is no way they could give a decent story with only 60 or so pages. I would like to apologize for my close minded self…..I really enjoyed “Chance of Trust” even though it was a quick read.

Here is who we have for our viewing pleasure…..

Em (short for Emery) – shy, sexy and dealing with a nasty breakup for last 2yrs.

Penn – funny & gorgeous business man who occasionally steps in as sexy barista.

Joss – Obnoxious, yet funny as hell best friend to Em.

The beginning starts out with Em & Joss, going to into a coffee shop, having a friendly disagreement. They catch the eyes (and ears) of the patrons, along with one-sexy barista. Penn overhears the conversation and is immediately drawn to Em. Em shakes the feelings he gets once he gets a look at Penn and passes it off as being celibate for the last 2 years. Joss sees the reaction they have to each other and decides to be a sneaky SOB and make a plan of attack on how Penn can get Em on a date. Joss is hysterical and the way he gets Em to agree is comical.

I really enjoyed get front row seats as Em & Penn go on the dreaded first date. Em cannot fathom why someone like Penn would want him – feeling as if he would be better off with someone like Joss. Penn knows what he wants and is quickly falling for Em, but Em is too afraid to let go of the past. All Penn ask is for Em to trust him…… and with that…… the book ends. Knowing this is book 1 in a trilogy made it ok to end that way, but I was just getting into it (insert sad face here) *******runs away to start book 2*****

If you are looking for a quick read, that has a good plot and some wonderful characters than I would recommend Chance of Trust, but be prepared to want to start book 2 immediately.

3.5 pieces of eye candy

Chance at Love:

YAY…..Book 2 of the Chance at Life Trilogy….AND of course I immediately starting reading this after finishing book 1. Chance at Love starts out with Em & Penn being in a relationship since book 1 ended. I was literally laughing out load with the way Em rambles – I think it is adorable and sweet. Penn is the ever so serious and fun loving boyfriend, but he is starting to question how he should speak to Em. (side note: Whoever said verbal abuse is not abuse is completely wrong. Penn has to deal with how to interact with Em on a daily basis just so he doesn’t set Em back to the horrible time in his life) The title speaks for itself and we follow Em & Penn as they navigate through the world to try and find what has been missing from both their lives. LOVE!

Their story is sweet and new, but add in Em’s horrible excuse for parents and a deceased great-uncle and things get very interesting.…..NO….I am not giving away a darn thing – YOU need to read it for yourself, but I promise you will be covering your mouth from shock and you will love Em & Penn even more.

This is not standalone book so make sure you read Chance at Trust first! Again, I will reiterate that this is a quick read, but so worth it. I am giddy with excitement to read book 3 and hope we do not have to wait long!

3.5 pieces of eye candy

Walk With Me by Cardeno C. : Audio Book Blog Tour, Review and Giveaway

October 2, 2015 by Denise

Walk With Me: Home Collection

Written by: Cardeno C.
Narrated by: Alexander Collins
Length: 6 hrs and 40 mins
Unabridged Audiobook
Release Date:08-28-15
Publisher: The Romance Authors, LLC

When Eli Block steps into his parents’ living room and sees his childhood crush sitting on the couch, he starts a shameless campaign to seduce the young rabbi. Unfortunately, Seth Cohen barely remembers Eli and he resolutely shuts down all his advances. As a tenuous and then binding friendship forms between the two men, Eli must find a way to move past his unrequited love while still keeping his best friend in his life. Not an easy feat when the same person occupies both roles.

Professional, proper Seth is shocked by Eli’s brashness, overt sexuality, and easy defiance of societal norms. But he’s also drawn to the happy, funny, light-filled man. As their friendship deepens over the years, Seth watches Eli mature into a man he admires and respects. When Seth finds himself longing for what Eli had so easily offered, he has to decide whether he’s willing to veer from his safe life-plan to build a future with Eli.

*Walk With Me is set in the Home series where the books are linked by theme or world. They are independent and can be read in any order.

Ebook Links

Amazon / iTunes / ARe / Smashwords / Kobo / B&N

I have no idea why I haven’t read every single one of Cardeno C’s books back to back. I have loved every single thing of hers that I have read. And Walk With Me was no exception. It is the last in the Home Story collection, but the first one I have actually delved into.

I listened to this one, almost in one sitting (which is rare for me) because I laughed so much through it. The things that Seth has to deal with as a rabbi are so ridiculous, yet so true! The scene from the first wedding where Seth and Eli meet up, I’ve seen video of that, it actually happened!

These two “officially” meet when Eli is just too young for Seth, understandably so. So, since Eli could do nothing else but love Seth from afar, they slowly became friends, years of working through all their trials and tribulations, they were able to connect romantically. Until they made a mess of it again. 🙂 But as all CC books, there is a happy ending, and this one made me cry!

With audio books, the narration is so key, and Alexander Collins did a marvelous job with this book. His voice was rich, and varied, and he was able to give inflections to both characters very well. It really helped draw me even further into a story, that I was excited to listen to either way.

Both the story aspects, as well as the narration aspects were perfect for me. I laughed, I cried, and I enjoyed the narration. Couldn’t have enjoyed this book more.

Story: 5 pieces of Eye Candy

Narration: 5 pieces of Eye Candy

Cardeno C. – CC to friends – is a hopeless romantic who wants to add a lot of happiness and a few “awwws” into a reader’s day. Writing is a nice break from real life as a corporate type and volunteer work with gay rights organizations. Cardeno’s stories range from sweet to intense, contemporary to paranormal, long to short, but they always include strong relationships and walks into the happily-ever- after sunset.

Cardeno’s Home, Family, and Mates series have received awards from Love Romances and More Golden Roses, Rainbow Awards, the Goodreads M/M Romance Group, and various reviewers. But even more special to CC are heartfelt reactions from readers, like, “You bring joy and love and make it part of the every day.”

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A Solitary Man by Shira Anthony and Aisling Mancy : Cover Reveal and Excerpt

October 2, 2015 by Denise

COVER REVEAL!

Authors Shira Anthony and Aisling Mancy have teamed up to write a red-hot action-packed thriller!

A Solitary Man coming from Dreamspinner Press November 6th!

Sparks fly when Chance meets tall, sexy Xav at a Wilmington bar and they have the hottest one-nighter of their lives. But Chance doesn’t do repeats, Xav seems detached, and they go their separate ways without a word. Two months later, when closeted Assistant District Attorney C. Evan “Chance” Fairchild meets Dare’s Landing’s newest deputy sheriff, Xavier “Xav” Constantine, Evan isn’t only wary. He’s irritated as hell.

Xavier is a former FBI agent turned deputy sheriff who is hot on the trail of a South American child prostitution ring. Evan is fighting to put an end to rampant cocaine trafficking and chafing under the thumb of an election-hungry boss. When someone tries to kill the thirteen-year-old witness who holds the key to both their investigations, they’re forced to work together as they put their lives on the line to protect him. As Chance and Xav collide in heat of a sweltering North Carolina summer, dodging bullets and chasing bad guys isn’t the only action going on.

Author: Shira Anthony and Aisling Mancy

Title: A Solitary Man

Series Title and Number (if applicable): N/A

Publisher: Dreamspinner Press

Release Date: 11/6/15

Genre: Contemporary romance

Tags: Contemporary, thriller, mystery, FBI, cops, crime

Heat Level (1 being no sexual content, 5 being erotica): 3

Pairing (Male/Female, Male/Male, Female/Female, Ménage): Male/Male

Length: 96,775 words

Dreamspinner Press: http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/AuthorArcade/aisling-mancy

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/26683500-a-solitary-man

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/A-Solitary-Man-Anthony-Mancy-1053835494632281/timeline/

Evan pressed the button on his phone to connect. “Freddy? What did you find out?”

Fred laughed. “For this, I’m going to exact a price.”

“You mean the keg I sprang for at graduation doesn’t get me a freebie?” Evan shot back.

“We’ve been out of law school for how many years now? Eight?”

“Nine this year,” Evan corrected.

“Credit’s no good anymore,” Fred answered. “I’m thinking dinner at Ivy at the Shore next time you’re in LA. On you, of course. Including a bottle of Veuve Clicquot.”

“For that,” Evan said with a chuckle, “this had better be good.”

“It’s good. And it was hell to get.”

“Okay, okay. Dinner on me. Assuming you and Margie put me up for the night,” Evan replied. “I’m looking forward to seeing your McMansion.”

“Deal. Took a little digging. Seems your mystery man did some undercover work for the FBI.”

“And?”

“My buddy in the US Attorney’s office wouldn’t give details, but word is Constantine got fed up with the bullshit after a case went bad somewhere down in South America.”

“Drugs?” Evan asked.

“No. He dealt with human trafficking. Specifically, child sex trafficking. My friend says the guy’s good. He tried a few cases where Constantine was the government’s key witness. Knows his stuff. Works his ass off and gets into his work. I got the impression sometimes he gets a little too close.”

Now that was interesting. “Why?”

“Seems the guy’s rabid about protecting kids.”

“Any idea why?”

“Nothing anyone would tell me,” Fred replied.

Evan leaned back in his chair. At least Xav wasn’t a slacker, but it didn’t make Evan feel any better about the prospect of bumping into him at work. “Anything else?”

“Constantine grew up in LA, went to school in Boston.”

“Boston?” Even more interesting. So much for his initial assessment of Xav as a broceanographer.

“Yeah, you’ll love this.”

Evan could almost hear Freddy’s grin over the phone.

“He did undergrad at MIT. Mathematics major. Master’s in criminology from U Penn with an emphasis in cryptology. The FBI was probably falling all over itself to recruit him.”

No shit. This just got better and better. “What the hell’s a guy with that kind of background doing in North Carolina?”

“I could ask you the same question,” Fred shot back. “Of course, if you decide you want your own McMansion….”

“You couldn’t pay me enough to come to work for you,” Evan joked. Fred was serious—they’d had this discussion a half-dozen times before.

“Try me.” Fred paused for a moment and then asked, “This personal?”

Evan had no intention of telling Fred he’d slept with Xav. “Not personal.”

“’Cause word has it he’s gay,” Fred said. “Out but not advertising.” When Evan didn’t take the bait, Fred added, “But you already knew that, didn’t you?”

Evan shook his head and sighed theatrically. “Don’t even go there, Freddy. You know I don’t mix business and pleasure. I just want to know what I’m dealing with. That’s all.”

“You can’t bullshit a bullshitter, man.”

“Thanks for the help,” Evan said, foreclosing the topic. “I’ll let you know next time I’m out your way. Tell Margie she’s a brave woman.”

“Always do. Laters. And make sure you get your sorry ass out here soon.”

“Will do.” Evan disconnected the call and rubbed his mouth. Mathematics major at MIT and a master’s from U Penn? No wonder the FBI had recruited him. And he’d pegged Xav for a surfer! What the hell are you doing in Dare’s Landing, Xavier Constantine?

Pre-order A Solitary Man from Dreamspinner Press!

About Shira Anthony

Shira loves a great happily-ever-after and never writes a story without one. She’s happy to write what her muse tells her, whether it’s fantasy, sci fi, paranormal, or contemporary romance. She particularly loves writing series, because she thinks of her characters as old friends and she wants to visit them even after their stories are told.

In real life, Shira sang professionally for 14 years, and she currently works as a public sector attorney advocating for children. She’s happy to have made writing her second full-time job, even if it means she rarely has time to watch TV or go to the movies.

Shira writes about the things she knows and loves, whether it’s music and musicians, the ocean, or the places she’s lived or traveled to. She spent her middle school years living in France, and tries to visit as often as she can.

Shira and her husband spend as many weekends as they can aboard their 36′ catamaran sailboat, “Lands Zen,” at the Carolina Coast. Not only has sailing inspired her to write about pirates and mermen, her sailboat is her favorite place to write. And although the only mermen she’s found to date are in her own imagination, she keeps a sharp lookout for them when she’s on the water.

Shira looks forward to meeting you at Gay Rom Lit!

Find Shira on blog, Twitter @WriterShira, Facebook, and Goodreads and

Subscribe to Shira’s monthly newsletter for updates, free fiction, and subscriber-only contests!

About Aisling Mancy

Aisling is an author who lives, most of the time, on the West Coast of the United States. Aisling writes adult fantasy, adult LGBTQIA romance, and fiction for gay young adults (C. Kennedy).

Raised on the mean streets and back lots of Hollywood by a Yoda-look-alike grandfather, Aisling doesn’t conform, doesn’t fit in, is epic awkward, and lives to perfect a deep-seated oppositional defiance disorder. In a constant state of fascination with the trivial, Aisling contemplates such weighty questions as If time and space are curved, then where do all the straight people come from? When not writing, Aisling can be found taming waves on western shores, pondering the nutritional value of sunsets, appreciating the much maligned dandelion, unhooking guide ropes from stanchions, and marveling at all things ordinary.

Aisling looks forward to meeting you at Gay Rom Lit!

Find Aisling on blog, Twitter @AislingMancy, Facebook, Goodreads, and

Aisling does respond to emails because, after all, it is all about you, the reader

Thomas Elkin Series by N.R. Walker : Series Review

September 28, 2015 by Denise

Elements of Retrofit (Thomas Elkin Book 1)

Apparently I have been way behind on reading some fantastic books! After several recommendations to read this series I figured I have a go at it. Dear God – why did I wait so long? I have read a few of N.R. Walkers books and absolutely loved them so of course this wasn’t any different. The one thing I will say is this was my first May/December read (hangs head in shame). I was always skeptical in reading books of any genre with the big age gap. I was always afraid that the younger MC would come off as childish or annoying and the older MC wouldn’t appeal to me. I must say, I was completely wrong in every stereotype I had of this subgenre.

Tom was sexy & serious. Cooper (also very sexy) was fun & ambitious. The constant banter between the two was witty & entertaining. Walker did an excellent job in creating such likeable characters you couldn’t help but fall in love with them. Coop was the light that Tom needed to let go and really enjoy life. I was thrilled to see that Walker made Tom doubt his actions. To be afraid of what consequences would happen for being involved with someone very young. How she handled the situations is what great writers are made of.

I am soooo excited that I took the plunge and read my first May/December Romance. I am diving into book 2 now so I’ll let you know how it goes

5 Pieces of Eye Candy

Reviewed for Two Chicks Obsessed with Books and Eye Candy

buy now

Elements of Retrofit Amazon Link

Clarity of Lines (Thomas Elkin Book 2)

Have I said how much I heart Tom & Coop? Clarity of Lines picks up where book 1 ended. Obviously I am thrilled that their story continues. Walker does a phenomenal job in making us love Tom & Coop so much more than before. They are starting to come out as a couple and due to the obvious age gap there are those who are not too happy about it.

Walker flawlessly wrote a story that is realistic. I think bypassing this phase of the relationship would have made the book feel unreal. Everyone struggles with family/friends accepting each others partners, but when there is a 20+ yr age gap I would expect it to not be hearts & flowers. My heart just about broke for Coop and how his family was against them but once again Walker delivered and eventually everyone came to an understanding.

I could read them banter back forth for ever. The way Tom just doesn’t get why Cooper will not move in with him and how Cooper makes Tom work for it……freaking genius.

Heading off to read book 3 – Can’t wait to see what shenanigans they will get into.

5 Pieces of Eye Candy

Reviewed for Two Chicks Obsessed with Books and Eye Candy

Clarity of Lines Amazon Link

Sense of Place (Thomas Elkin Book 3)

WOW……I love this series, and for some, wish they would continue forever. Tom & Cooper hold a special place in my heart. Sense of Place is the final installment of the Thomas Elkins Series. Walker made sure that we would remember Tom & Cooper for many, many years. I am sure they will be at the top of everyone’s Book Boyfriend List for a very long time.

Both Tom & Cooper are having issues at work but for very different reasons. Tom is having issues with a homophobic co-worker and Cooper is working with a rich brat who gets whatever he wants – AND he wants Cooper. Luckily Cooper is madly & completely in love with Tom, but Tom has doubts. Is he good enough for Cooper? Why would Coop want him when he can have a man the same age? I was wishing upon a star that Tom would knock said rich boy’s lights out….lol….Maybe he did, but you’ll have to read it to find out!

If you are looking for a fun, sexy, realistic series with some fine A$$ MCs than you need to pick The Thomas Elkins Series. Definitely will be in my top favorite series.

Thank you NR Walker for giving such a fantastic series to lose ourselves in. I am forever a fan.

5 Pieces of Eye Candy

Reviewed for Two Chicks Obsessed with Books and Eye Candy