Jesse Ainsley’s life running his busy veterinary practice in the sleepy Cornwall bay he grew up in leaves no time for a serious relationship… at least, that’s what he tells himself, but the simple truth is much more cliché. He’s been in love with his best friend forever, but when he starts pulling away and goes radio silent on him for six months, Jesse begins to wonder if their friendship is finally over.

Deacon James lives his life at two speeds, a hundred miles an hour and stop. He’s spent the last decade travelling the world, winning races, partying with the most beautiful men and women, and living life on his terms, a life which was pretty close to perfect… with just one caveat… he’s never quite been able to get over the boy he left behind. His best friend Jesse has always made him yearn for something he’s too afraid to face and cutting him out of his life seemed like the only answer.

But things are never that simple. When Deacon wakes from an accident in Italy with Jesse asleep in the hospital chair beside him, he discovers Jesse’s been keeping secrets of his own.

At a crossroads in their life, they’re faced with a choice, build something deeper and stronger from the ashes, or let words unsaid and secrets tear them apart forever.

From author Wendy Saunders writing as Vawn Cassidy comes this second chance, friends to lovers, hurt/comfort with a HEA.

Definitely Deacon

Belong to Me Book 2

By Vawn Cassidy

Amazon – Kindle Unlimited

Goodreads

He shuffles out into the hallway with me hovering over him protectively. It must be really annoying, but I can’t seem to help myself. My mind keeps trying to remind me how close I came to losing him, and I keep having to elbow that annoying voice aside otherwise I’ll end up morphing into a stage five clinger.

Deak climbs the stairs, and I can’t help but stare at his firm arse. Why am I torturing myself like this? I’m happy just to have our friendship back, I can’t start dreaming about more, that way lies madness… and blue balls apparently.

“Jesse?” Deak says with a hint of uncertainty in his voice as he stops at the top of the stairs. “There’s two doors.”

“Well done, you can count.” I reply dryly.

“If that room is the bathroom, then that means this is a one-bedroom house,” he reasons out.

“And they said you were just a dumb sailor with a pretty face who only likes fast boats and even faster bed partners,” I say easily.

“Read that article, did you?” He turns to glance at me over his shoulder.

“Read?” My brows rise. “It’s framed and mounted on the wall in the downstairs toilet.”

“Fuck off,” he snorts. “Seriously though, where am I sleeping?”

“In the bed.” I blink at him as if the answer should be obvious.

“And you’ll be sleeping…?”

“On the play dough sofa,” I reply. “Did you miss the part where I called it the napping sofa? It is so named for a very obvious reason.”

He stares at me silently with a small smile playing on his lips. “I’ve really missed your sarcasm, Jess.” He shakes his head with a little laugh. “But I’m not kicking you out of your bed.”

“You’re not.” I shrug. “I offered it.

“Well you didn’t exactly, did you?” His brow folds. “You kind of got stuck with me because Garrett decided to start re-arranging the walls in his place.”

“Deak, it’s fine.” I shake my head again. “Seriously, I’ve slept in worse places than my incredibly comfy sofa thanks to Ryan’s beer tasting sessions.”

“Oh yeah?” he replies with one dark brow raised questioningly.

“Last time, I woke up naked on a golf course wearing nothing but a pair of argyle socks,” I admit ruefully. “I’m still not sure where the traffic cone came from. Still, I was better off than Ryan, he was naked and handcuffed. Not sure where the handcuffs came from either to be honest.”

Okay, I seriously needed this book in my life. Before Definitely Deacon, I picked up, and quickly put down no less than three other books. Not that they weren’t good, or that I won’t go back to them, but at that moment in time, they were not what I was needing. Now, full disclosure, I didn’t read Suddenly Beck, (although it is still in my tbr pile, and it got moved up quickly after this book), but I read Vawn Cassidy’s Dead Serious and FLOVED it. If you haven’t read it, go right now, grab it…I’ll wait…hurry up…it’s just fantastic. So, I snatched this one right up and wasn’t disappointed.

I don’t generally use the phrase “all the feels”, but this one really did give me all the feels. Childhood friends turned into first loves until grief was too much for Deak and he had to leave. And he really couldn’t come back until he found what it was he was looking for, which as it turned out was there all along. See? All the feels. Deak really had it rough. He held it together a long time, despite having some heavy sh!t happen to him along the way. He still managed to keep a sweet, loyal and funny personality. Impressive considering, but a testament to all the people who helped him along the way, as well as his inner strength.

Jesse, so very different from his twin brother, but you can definitely see how connected they were. Beck didn’t even hesitate to drop everything and take Jesse to Rome when he needed to be there for Deak. Jesse was sarcastic, made me laugh many times, but also didn’t have the best opinion of himself, which seemed to be very much wrapped around how Deak kept distancing himself further and further from him, causing so much additional strain on Jesse. Even something as impressive as becoming a veterinarian he described as “playing with puppies all day”. He was the rock that Deak needed, but didn’t know it, until almost too late. Definitely some hurt along the way, and it isn’t easy to move past that kind of pain and secrets..

I’ve realized between the two books that I’ve read from this author, that a strength of hers is side characters. They don’t just appear, do what they are supposed to do, then disappear. They are funny, quirky, memorable characters. Maybe they’ll get a book, maybe they won’t, but you don’t finish the book and think “now which of the side characters did X”. That’s a talent to be cultivated and enjoyed. Whether it was Deak’s friends, Jin, Kyan, Damien or his silver fox Uncle Garrett, they all had their own personalities and quirks.

There’s definitely more to explore in the bay, so I hope to see where this goes.

4.5 pieces of eye candy

Vawn Cassidy is the mild mannered MM obsessed alter ego/ pen name of contemporary fantasy & romantic suspense author Wendy Saunders. She’s a Brit and lives in the UK with her husband and kids.

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