Two Chicks Obsessed with Books & Eye Candy

Sharing our love of M/M Romance

new release

Don’t Fear the (Not Really Grim) Reaper by Carole Cummings: New Release Review

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When unassuming college student Emery Sutton wakes up in the morgue, it takes him a few minutes to remember he has magic (superpowers, damn it!) and free himself from the refrigerated drawer. And the body bag. (God.) It doesn’t take long, though, for him to remember the hot guy with wings he ran into just before a city bus ran into him.

Junior Reaper John must explain to his supervisor how his first solo assignment went so wrong. All he knows is that he happened upon Emery quite by accident, that Emery saw John when he shouldn’t have been able to, and when they accidentally touched, a bus came out of nowhere and plowed Emery under. (John really does feel bad about that.)

Hot angels, annoying demons, hijinks, absurdity, drunk siblings, a dash of silly romance, an inordinate attachment to wings, and a highly disorganized bid for world domination—Don’t Fear the (Not Really Grim) Reaper follows Emery and John down the rabbit hole where they find that moms are scarier than demons from hell, a goat is not a puppy no matter what Emery’s sister says, and awkward romance can happen anywhere.

Title: Don’t Fear the (Not Really Grim) Reaper
Author: Carole Cummings
Release Date: January 11, 2019
Category: Paranormal
Pages: 62

Amazon

Dreamspinner Press

This is a short novella that I grabbed not knowing what to expect. Initially, I was a little confused as to what was happening, but it kicked in quickly.

What a fun story. I laughed out loud several times.

He’s luckier than most–actually any–who might find themselves in this ludicrous situation, though, because Emery is a little bit magic–

God, Dad, they’re superpowers, okay?

Emery, turning your sister’s hair green and purple is not a superpower.

I felt bad for John, finding himself in a rather odd situation, and falling in love with a human with superpowers. However, it made for some additional awkward situations that you couldn’t help but enjoy as a reader.

If you are looking for a fun little read, this is a great one for it.

4 pieces of eye candy

Murder Most Lovely by Hank Edwards & Deanna Wadsworth: Exclusive Cover Reveal and Excerpt

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Today we have a fun treat! Hank Edwards and Deanna Wadsworth are here with the exclusive cover reveal and an excerpt to their upcoming mystery and romance, Murder Most Lovely. Just reading the first line of the blurb makes me want this book right now! 🙂 So check it all out and let us know what you think.

A killer at a small-town literary festival. Bumbling drug dealers. A kidnapped cat. Starting a romance among all this chaos might be the death of them.

Michael Fleishman is excited to meet his favorite mystery writer, Russell Withingham, at Lacetown’s Literary Fest. He is not expecting to cross paths with sexy hairdresser Jasper “Jazz” Dilworth—or become embroiled in a real-life mystery. As Lacetown’s only mortician and the county coroner, Michael is called to his first murder scene and is shocked to recognize the victim—Russell’s young lover.

Jazz only wanted to confront his ex, Russell, over his cheating. Instead, he meets the adorably awkward Michael and becomes a murder suspect. Soon Jazz is teaming up with Michael to clear his name. Along the way, they are helped and hindered by Michael’s sassy assistant, Kitty, the grumpy Sheriff Musgrave, Russell’s creepy PR rep, Norbert, and Michael’s lothario grandfather, who likes his manhattans strong and his women saucy. And of course, Mr. Pickles Furryton the Third….

Title: Murder Most Lovely
Series: Lacetown Murder Mysteries: Case One
Release Date: April 30, 2019
Category: Mystery/Suspense
Pages: 239
Cover Artist: Bree Archer http://www.breearcher.com

Dreamspinner Press eBook

Dreamspinner Press Paperback

After a third glass of chardonnay, Michael seemed much more relaxed, and Jazz had a nice buzz. They dropped their cups in the trash just outside the book cover photo booth and stood side-by-side, looking at the selections. There were many different themes, from romance to science fiction to murder mystery. As they perused the options, Jazz felt Michael’s shoulder brush against his own. He glanced at him out of the corner of his eye, happy to see Michael smiling as he surveyed their choices.

“What do you think?” Jazz said. “Anything catch your eye?”

“They’re all pretty great,” Michael said. “What about you? Which do you like?”

“I think the bodice ripper cover is timeless.” Jazz pointed to the sample that showed a muscular man with an unbuttoned shirt blowing back from his amazing torso, and in his arms was a beautiful woman with long hair and a Victorian dress so tight her breasts practically popped out of it.

“What? No!” Michael’s nervous laugh made Jazz laugh himself.

“Okay, fine. But I bet the costumes would be fun to get into.”

“Be that as it may, I still say no.” Michael blushed and looked back at the samples. “How about the detective novel?”

Jazz frowned at the cover with a Dick Tracy–esque man and a woman with a gun.

Before he could think of a way to say “no” and not bring up his unfortunate spousal arrangement on a first date, Michael shook his head.

“Actually, let’s do one that doesn’t remind us of everything heinous in the last twenty-four hours.” Michael pointed to a cover with two cowboys on horseback. “How about that one?”

Thrilled once more to be on the same wavelength as his date, Jazz grinned at him. “A little bit of a cowboy fetish there, Mr. Fleishman?”

Michael shrugged. “I don’t know. I think it just looks cool.”

“I’m teasing you.” Jazz bumped his shoulder against Michael’s. “Let’s do it.”

They pulled the loose-fitting costumes on over their clothes, and Jazz picked out a black hat for Michael, setting it on his head and taking a step back to look him over.

“Oh, my. Seriously sexy.”

“No, stop it.” Michael passed a white cowboy hat to him. “You’re definitely a white hat kind of cowboy.”

“Virginal?” Jazz said, batting his eyes. He did his best to look offended when Michael laughed. “You don’t think I’m a virgin?”

Michael touched the brim of his hat and nodded. “A cowboy never tells. Shall we mosey on out to the corral, pardner?”

“I’m liking this cowboy persona you just adopted,” Jazz said as he followed Michael out of the costume tent. “You might want to invest in a hat. And maybe a leather vest. And some leather chaps.”

“Hello! Welcome to Book Cover Magic!”

A black woman stood by a camera attached to a computer, her smile so big her cheeks nearly covered her eyes.

“I’m Doreen, and I’m going to be taking your picture today. From your costumes I can tell you selected the science fiction cover, right?”

Jazz exchanged a confused look with Michael, then said, “Um, no. We wanted the Old West book cover.”

Doreen winked and laughed. “Got you! Okay, let’s get the horses moved into frame and we’ll get started.”

“Horses?” Michael’s eyes were wide and his smile childlike. But when he saw that the “horses” were actually saddles on green padded sawhorses, his disappointment was evident. “Oh. They’re not real.”

“Oh, honey, I wish to all that’s holy and magical that I could afford to haul real horses around to all the small-town festivals I’m signed up for. Come on now, hop on your saddles. Go out there and rope those doggies! Woo-hoo! Ride ’em, cowboy!”

Doreen had them laughing and acting crazy as she took several photos. When she was finished, they gathered at the computer and looked through the options, laughing at their expressions. In the last picture, Doreen had captured them looking at each other and laughing, Michael with his black hat in hand and waving overhead, and Jazz holding up both of his plastic six-shooters.

“That’s the one,” Jazz and Michael said at the same time, then looked at each other and grinned. Their smiles faded a little as their gaze lingered. Jazz was overwhelmed with the sudden desire to gently take Michael’s glasses off so he could get lost in those chocolaty brown eyes.

Michael licked his lips and was the first to look away, still smiling.

Doreen smiled as she looked between them, and then she leaned in and asked in a quiet voice, “First date?”

“What?” Michael’s blush returned, redder than ever, which made Jazz want to kiss him right there in front of Doreen, her teenage assistant, and God and everyone.

“Oh, you don’t have to be scared of me, honey,” Doreen said as she clicked the mouse and typed a few things on her computer keyboard. “Love is love, that’s the only way. Now, what would you like the title of your book to be?”

“How about, Our First Date?” Jazz suggested.

Michael grinned and nodded. “I like it.”

“Me too,” Doreen said and her fingers tapped across the keyboard. “Okay, and who are the authors?”

“By Jazz and Michael,” Michael said.

“Oh, Jazz and Michael. I like that. And I’ll put a fancy ampersand in there to make it even better. Take a look at the monitor right there and tell me what you think.”

Jazz stood shoulder to shoulder with Michael as they looked at the large monitor. The picture was perfect: the two of them on horseback, with a stagecoach in the background, all done in a tintype style. The title and their names were in an Old West font that perfectly captured the feeling of it all.

“I love it,” Michael said and smiled at Jazz. “What do you think?”

“It’s perfect,” Jazz said, smiling back.

Hank Edwards has been reading books from an early age. Now that he’s an adult—or at least older than he used to be—he likes to write stories that revolve around gay characters. His writing crosses many sub-genres, including romance, rom-com, contemporary, paranormal, suspense, mystery, and wacky comedy.

When he’s not writing, Hank loves to read, go to movies, watch some TV, and because of Paul Hollywood’s influence, has recently been trying his hand at baking. He visits his mother once a week, not just for the free cookies, and enjoys spending time with close friends drinking wine and making up ridiculous things that sometimes show up in his books. Although he hates the process of travel, he does enjoy experiencing new places. His dream trip is to one day visit the country of Greece, and he is currently saving his nickels and dimes to make that a reality.

Back in the 90s, he met a man who understood and encouraged his strange, creative mind, and who made him laugh more often and more freely than anyone else. Today they are legally married and still laugh often as they live in a suburb just north of Detroit with their two cats who act as both muse and distraction to him while he writes.

Twitter: @hanksbooks
Instagram: hankedwardsbooks
Amazon Author Page: http://author.to/HankEdwards
Deanna Wadsworth might be a best-selling erotica author, but she leads a pretty vanilla life in Ohio with her wonderful husband and a couple adorable cocker spaniels. She has been spinning tales and penning stories since childhood, and her first erotic novella was published in 2010. She has served multiple board positions for different RWA chapters, including president of the Rainbow Romance Writers in 2017.

When she isn’t writing books or brainstorming with friends, you can find her making people gorgeous in a beauty salon. She loves music and dancing, and will often be seen hanging out on the sandbar in the muddy Maumee River or chilling with her hubby and a cocktail in their basement bar. In between all that fun, Deanna cherishes quiet times in her garden when she can let her wildly active imagination have the full run of her mind. Her fascination with people and the inner workings of their relationships has always inspired her to write romance with spice and love without boundaries.

Twitter: @DeannaWadsworth
Instagram: @Deannawads

Cronin’s Key IV: Kennard’s Story by N.R. Walker: New Release Review * 2

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Kennard and Stas have been enjoying being newly bonded mates, hidden away for the last six months in Stas’ cabin, deep in the forests of Northern Russia. When they get a visit from Alec, Cronin, Eiji, and Jodis, Kennard and Stas decide to return to London where they get news of a supernatural disturbance in India.

Excited for a new adventure, the band of friends embark on a journey like they’ve never seen before. Following a trail of snakes and serpents, they slip through gates into timeless dimensions all over the world, leaving them without their vampire powers. Even Alec is powerless as they follow a trail of gates and doorways to their final destination.

But the bad guy isn’t who they think it is, and Kennard will need to draw on his past to save their future. Because history is never what it seems…

Amazon – Kindle Unlimited

Cronin’s Key I

Cronin’s Key II

Cronin’s Key III

Confession time. I read books 1 and 2 a long time ago. And I remember being like, meh, whatevs, about them. I never read book 3. So when this was coming out, I figured I would give them another go. And I am so glad I did. I love NR Walker. Before this there wasn’t a book of hers I didn’t like. I must have been in a bad place or something.

Anyway…the first three focus on Cronin and Alec. Kennard was a side character who helped them on their “adventures”. He deserved his own story. And he got it. Although he met his fated mate in book 3, so book 4 was really more about the adventure than the romance. Which was still super fun, but not really a romance in my eyes.

That being said, I think their adventures (for lack of a better spoilery term) are awesome. The way the author ties together real history and changes the perspective is so clever. I honestly don’t know how she gets her brain to do those things.

This one was shorter then the previous and I think that really had to do with skipping over the first 6 months of Kennard and Stas together. But since they were holed up together in a remote cabin in Russia with no outside contact, it was just a lot of sex.

We still get Cronin, Alec, Eiji and Jodis. There is still a ton of cool history and lots of vampire goings on. And as fun as these adventures are to read about, these guys need a break to just relax for a bit.

4 Pieces of Eye Candy

I love NR Walker‘s work, everything she writes. When I first hooked into Cronin’s Key, I had to be pulled and dragged to read it because “I don’t read paranormal”, “I don’t want to read vampires”, blah blah. I was wrong, just plain wrong. I loved this series, just loved it. In fact, before I read Cronin’s Key IV, I went and listened to all three of the audiobooks back to back first (that review is ahead, as well), to get re-acquainted in preparation for this one. This series proved to me I should read anything and everything NR Walker writes, without question.

I have to admit, I was a bit perplexed by this book initially. Because Kennard met his fated in Book 3, and clearly realized it immediately, it was hard to see how it would be Kennard’s story. And for a portion of the book, I thought that it was feeling like it was still Alec’s story, just from Kennard’s point of view. Again, I was wrong. Yes, it did have a little of that feel initially, but as the reader got into the story, you realized that it went much deeper than that, and really was Kennard’s story–and a great one at that.

I don’t know how the author is able to mix all that history with a different perspective on what actually happened, but it is amazing, and as a reader, very engaging. She keeps it fresh and inventive, and makes the reader wonder if it really could have happened the way that these adventurous vampires know it to be true.

As usual with this group, there were lots of laughs, lots of harassing, even as they faced their villains, but they fought together with everything they had to get each other out of it all.

I’m not sure there is more story here for this group, but I could see a few more adventures ahead. Maybe not additional romances, but definitely some adventures. Doesn’t matter…as I said, I’ll read anything NR Walker writes. Grocery list anyone?

4 pieces of eye candy

Milo (Finding Home Book 2) by Lily Morton: Release Day Review

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Once upon a time a brave knight rescued a young man. Unfortunately, he then spent the next few years bossing the young man around and treating him like a child.

Milo has been burying himself at Chi an Mor, hiding from the wreckage of his once promising career and running from a bad relationship that destroyed what little confidence he had. For all of that time, Niall has been there for him. An arrogant and funny man, he couldn’t be any more different from the shy and once stuttery Milo, which has never stopped Milo from crushing wildly on him.

However, just as Milo makes the decision to move on from his hopeless crush he and Niall are thrown into close contact, and for the first time ever Niall appears to be returning his interest. But it can never work. How can it when Milo always needs rescuing?

From the bestselling author of the Mixed Messages series comes a story about a man who needs to write his own happily ever after.

This is the second book in the Finding Home series but it can be read as a standalone.

Content warning: There are descriptions of domestic abuse in this book.

Amazon – Kindle Unlimited

 

So, I had to go back and read Oz, because really… this is one series I’ll revisit often. I am so in love with all of these guys! I’m not sure anyone can top Oz and Silas, but I was so excited to know that we’d get Milo and Niall, and I honestly couldn’t put it down. (Literally, I got nothing done the entire day)

In the beginning we get to see what brought Milo to the estate. We get kind of the idea in Oz’s story, but seeing it and understanding what made Milo kind of, turn in on himself was so heartbreaking. He spent so long being dragged down by this ex boyfriend that it completely changed his view of himself. I really hurt for him.
Luckily, his brother’s best friend and friend of the family, Niall, goes to check on him when his brother Gideon can’t reach him for a couple of days and walks in on the abuse as it’s happening and gets Milo out of there.

Niall is amazing. There were bits of him that turned me off, most definitely, (like being friends with benny’s with Milo’s brother, Gideon…as short as a month prior, uhm, ewww)… but it was obvious to everyone, (except Milo), that he adored Milo and always had. He was kind of his self-proclaimed protector and he was like a little brother to Niall….. until he wasn’t. Until he started seeing him as a man instead of the little boy that used to follow him and Gideon around all the time…

When an accident takes Oz and Silas away for the week, they leave their baby with her uncle’s Niall and Milo… Watching their back and forth was just as entertaining as Oz and Silas’ was. Milo was getting himself back to the before the ex, self…. Milo and with the help of his friendship with Oz and Silas, and Niall giving him encouragement, endless patience and really just everything he needed, it was fun to see him come out of his shell and tap into his inner- Oz… they were really two peas in a pod. I loved seeing more of Oz and Silas, too…I’ll never turn down a chance to catch up with them…

And then Niall coming to the realization that Milo is a man…. And a man that makes him feel like no other man, or woman ever has before… he see’s him in such a new light, and he runs with it… albeit slowly… cuz hello.. he needed Milo to trust him and see him in the same way….

I will also say, I did not like Gideon (Milo’s brother) until the very end. He grew on me, but I haaaated the little tests and pettiness that he put Niall and Milo through, and I wanted so badly for Niall to tell him to just stop, I wanted him to stick up for Milo… I don’t feel like he ever did. He stayed loyal to him, but didn’t put a stop to the way Gideon treated him and the way he talked to him, all the snide remarks and hurtful comments and that drove me crazy. Especially when he told Milo that HE needed to try because he was his brother… UGHHH I’d have knocked Gideon in his teeth a time or two… BUT, I’m thinking maybe he might be next? I’m not sure about that one… he seems selfish and self-absorbed. It’d be interesting to read…. We shall see.

Overall though… I loved it. I love the series, I love the couples and I love their little families. I cannot wait to read more of all of them…. Even if it is Gideon up next. Best series I’ve read so far this year. Hands down.

5 pieces of eye candy from me!

Cowboys Don’t Samba by Tara Lain: Cover Reveal

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We are very excited to have Tara Lain here for the cover reveal of Cowboys Don’t Samba, book 3 in her Cowboy’s Don’t series. Check out the gorgeous cover, and you can preorder at Dreamspinner Press now!

Maury Garcia’s one of the greatest bull riders in the world—and one of the biggest liars. Can he turn forbidden love with a rodeo rookie into a lasting romance?

Ever since his brother was killed because he was gay, Maury’s worked to take his brother’s place as the bull rider, the provider, and the ideal of his family’s macho expectations. The only thing Maury’s ever done for himself is buy a secret ranch so he can get away from the responsibilities he’s chained himself to. Then he meets Tristão Silva, the younger brother of the one man who could rob Maury of his bull riding championship.

Tristão may be a world-class bull rider in his own right, but his kind, gentle nature and sexy samba hips make Maury long for something beyond his selfless, sexless life. The two men’s lives are worlds apart, even if they’re both buckling under family expectations. Will their future last beyond an eight-second ride?

Title: Cowboys Don’t Samba

Series: Cowboys Don’t: Book 3

Author: Tara Lain

Release Date: May 14, 2019

Category: Western

Pages: 229

Cover Artist: Reese Dante   http://www.reesedante.com

Dreamspinner Press eBook

Dreamspinner Press Paperback

Tara Lain believes in happy ever afters—and magic. Same thing. In fact, she says, she doesn’t believe, she knows. Tara shares this passion in her stories, which star her unique, charismatic heroes and adventurous heroines. Quarterbacks and cops, werewolves and witches, blue collar or billionaires, Tara’s characters, readers say, love deeply, resolve seemingly insurmountable differences, and ultimately live their lives authentically. After many years living in southern California, Tara, her soulmate honey, and her soulmate dog decided they wanted fewer cars and more trees, prompting a move to Ashland, Oregon, where Tara’s creating new stories and loving living in a small town with big culture. Likely a Gryffindor but possessed of Parseltongue, Tara loves animals of all kinds, diversity, open minds, coconut crunch ice cream from Zooeys, and her readers. She also loves to hear from you.

Email: tara@taralain.com

Website: www.taralain.com

Blog: www.taralain.com/blog

Goodreads: www.goodreads.com/author/show/4541791.Tara_Lain

Pinterest: pinterest.com/taralain/

Twitter: twitter.com/taralain

Facebook: www.facebook.com/taralain

Tara Lain’s Beautiful Dream Reader Group: www.facebook.com/groups/255111391312743

Barnes & Noble: www.barnesandnoble.com/s/Tara-Lain?keyword=Tara+Lain&store=book

Amazon: www.amazon.com/Tara-Lain/e/B004U1W5QC/ref=ntt_athr_dp_pel_1

Darkness Dawns by Zakarrie Clarke: Exclusive Guest Post, Excerpt and Giveaway

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Darkness Dawns is a love story. It also tells the tale of one man’s war with himself, brought onto the battlefield of his blindness. Leo Ferrar suffers from diabetic retinopathy and lost his sight two years ago. Unable to bear the scrutiny of strangers or the impact of his blindness on those he loves, Leo has determined on shutting the world out ever since. This is the man Ben meets on his first day at work as Mr Ferrar’s care assistant.

A former heroin addict, Ben was sentenced to six months community service as punishment for his crimes by a judge entitled to condemn him to a seven-year stretch. Far too charming for his own welfare, Ben proves unaccountably brilliant at ‘bulldozing the blind’.

When fate sees fit to dispatch Ben to the home of the man he has dubbed Mr Ferrarcious;it is with the words of the last five unfortunates who’d dared darken Leo’s doorway ringing in his ears.  A door that is opened by a man who might be Lord Byron himself. Drop dead gorgeous and as hot as hell, Leo Ferrar hasthemost beautiful eyes Ben has ever seen.

Never has an irony seemed so cruel. Nor fate so fortuitous.

Author: Zakarrie Clarke

Title: Darkness Dawns

Publisher: MLR Press

Genre/s: Contemporary/Humour/MM/Disability (Blindness)

Length: 65 000 words/150 PDF pages

Release Date: February 1, 2019

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Amazon US

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Publisher – MLR

Smashwords

Topic: switching sub genres when writing (historical, contemporary etc)

Thank you for having me, and hello to you and your readers.

I wasn’t conscious of having switched sub genres for some time after I had. I only seem to distinguish things thus: Favourites/Stuff I couldn’t care less about. As long as I’m not required to pay attention to the latter in everyday life, I tend to ignore them. I’ve always been attracted to people regardless of gender, and feel likewise about genres. I mostly watch movies with actors I adore, and read books written by authors I admire. I suspect they’d have to release a quantum physics textbook before I registered their switch of subjects.

There were two stories rattling around my head when I started to write with real focus. Both were contemporary m/m romance, but my third was a love story set in a psychiatric hospital. Darkness Dawns was my fourth, so it seems I tackled two disorder/disability stories on the trot. In retrospect, I may have written Hangover From Hell (my first published novel) for a bit of light relief. A few months later, I began one of my historical binges. The Georgian/Regency period has always been my favourite era, so I re-read my biographies on The Duchess of Devonshire and Marie Antoinette (I love that their stories intersect). My stash replenished—overflowing with facts and steeped in imagery from The Duchess and Marie Antoinette—I began The Duke & The Dandy Highwayman.

For some unfathomable reason, this triggered a shapeshifter story based upon local legend. Looking back, this was my most significant switch—in theory—having fast forwarded a few centuries, moved from London to Cornwall, and entered the realms of fantasy. In truth, I found it far more tricky to segue from a sightless character to an artist. I had to interfere with my thought processes; lose a sense and maintain its absence, mindful of every word I weaved. Not-so sneaky sight references seemed to lurk in wait like landmines, everywhere I looked. Or couldn’t. In contrast, switching from a highwayman to a shapeshifter was more akin to slipping on a new costume. I lost my swishy cape but gained fur and super senses. That was fun. I did miss the cape, though.

The only time I’ve consciously tweaked my terminology was while writing The Duke & The Dandy. I wanted to include Regency colloquialisms, so I sourced the correct cant and entwined it into my ordinary writing. Ye olde English is my catnip, so it felt a very comfy fit. I just love words. I squirrel them away to snuffle…from Shakespeare to Sappho, Trollope to Tonlet. Then waft them about with gay abandon.

Leo knew heshould have opted to use the cane, instead of the arm Ben offered him for their unexpected walk.Should. Every time that word left someone’s lips, Leo wanted to scream; fists clenched in a screech of hopeless, helpless rage. The fact that everything he shoulddo was For-His-Own-Benefit, made it so much worse, which was as ludicrous as it was true. Independence was the only thing he had left to aspire to. So, why the fuck did should rub Leo so raw it obliterated any inclination he may have had to do whatever it prefaced? He ought to want to do the things he should. But what if he tried…and failed? What if Leo couldn’t master any of them? Then he would lose even the hope that he might, one day, be able to. Even more galling, that loss would be down to him, because he was so bloody useless. He didwant to show Ben that he was quite capable of managing…didn’t he? Very much, although why that mattered, Leo had no idea.

Why care what this latest in a long line of functioning eyeballs thought of him? It was probably more politic to say, ‘visually unimpaired’. Visually Impaired. Leo had to stifle the urge to punch people who described him thus. Impaired? Adj: weakened or damaged. Weak. Weakened. F’fucksakes. He was still chewing that particular wasp when Ben asked for his wrist.

Does he intend to lead me by it, as if I’m a toddler?

Leo found himself holding it out anyway. Christ knows why he was going along with all this. It was just that…being in Ben’s company was rather like sitting in the passenger seat of a snow plough driven by a drunk. Far preferable to standing in its path…and yet, somehow more appealing than staying behind, wherever the hell it was off to.

Nevertheless, he was still relieved when Ben clasped the proffered wrist—not to cart Leo off as he’d feared—but to plant his hand on top of Ben’s head. The fact that Leo could have changed the lightbulb without stretching a whole lot further, did seem to suggest he’d been addressing Ben’s nipples for the last half hour.

Quite how Ben then contrived to claim fault for something that was Leo’s mistake was less clear, but this was pulled off with such disarming charm, it would’ve been churlish to argue otherwise. Why the hell did the notion of calling Ben’s bluff feel as brutal a prospect as drowning his cat? If he had one, of course. Cat? More to the point…nipples?

“Thank you,” Leo managed to mumble, which was something of a result itself. Half an hour with Ben and he’d started to feel several sandwiches short of the proverbial picnic. He’d also begun to suspect that Violet had been a sweet little old lady—and quite sane—when she’d met Ben.

So off they went. The blindingly daft leading the blind off on a stroll around Camden.

In a bid to distract himself from well, pretty much everything he’d thought for the last five minutes, Leo decided to ask Ben to describe himself. For some reason he was intrigued, not only to know what Ben looked like, but to hear the picture he drew. Leo had an inkling this would prove more unmissable than an aural tour around the National Portrait Gallery. Unmissable?It was a bloody masterpiece. There most definitely were not any renderings of Steptoe’s six-four daughter there. The last two years might have felt a damn sight less soul-destroying if Ben had voiced Leo’s DVD visual descriptions.

Walking outside had lost all its appeal when the world became a giant landmine lying in wait to blow up in Leo’s face; every step into the unknown, a potential public humiliation. Despite this, and Ben’s partiality to lamp posts, they somehow arrived in Gloucester Crescent, alive and well. Even more shocking, was that Leo hadn’t fretted about…anything really, along the way. He’d just drifted along, listening to Ben weave words too beguiling to question where embellishment waved farewell to the truth. But who the fuck would want to, when that would feel as blasphemous as punching a fist through a Picasso?

When Zakarrie was little and dreamed big, she wanted to be a writer. Just like Enid Blyton. Or p’raps not…having been most remiss on the lashings of ginger beer front. After moving to London at eighteen and flitting about for far too long, she finally settled, as blissy as can be, by the sea. When her castaway dreams resurfaced, they were believed into being by the warm words of friends who breathed life into her own. Her one wish now is that someone, somewhere, might enjoy the misadventures of her miscreants as much as she adores writing them.

 

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