Andi Jaxon

“Jonah.” My name is growled.

Roman grabs my shirt when I spin around and pulls me into a classroom with no lights on. Did he not hear the sermon? We can’t be caught together. Expecting to hit the wall, I stumble into the gloomy room with Roman shutting the door behind me.

“What are you doing in here?”

He doesn’t answer me, just grips my shirt again and pushes me against the wall where we won’t be seen by anyone walking past the door and he’s pressed against me. His lips are harsh and demanding against mine. He’s pissed off, but I’m too hurt by my father’s words to be angry yet. It’ll come, but right now, my heart is heavy and broken.

Gripping his face, I kiss him back just as hard, frantic for his touch. My tongue duels with his and my teeth latch onto his lip. He growls, the rumble of it vibrating my chest. He’s pressed against me, mouth to thigh, and hard as steel. Blood pumps through my veins, filling my cock at his closeness.

He reaches for my pants, and I break our kiss.

“Roman,” I pant, my hands reaching for his wrists.

“Why do you come here?”

His question catches me off-guard. He’s still crowding me against the wall, his deep blue eyes searching my face for something, but it’s hard to think with him this close to me.

“Why wouldn’t I? I’m a son of God.”

Confusion leaves me open for his next assault. Roman’s lips crush mine, taking no prisoners. This kiss is hard, demanding, brutal. It’s exactly what I need. The pain, the desperation.

I kiss him back just as hard, biting at his lips, sucking on his tongue, ravaging his mouth. My dick aches in my pants, hard, desperate for attention. Roman’s body moves against me, his dick just as hard behind his zipper.

Reaching down, he grabs my leg and pulls it around his hip to get a better angle. His thick cock sliding against mine has my eyes rolling back into my head and he swallows my moan.

My hands grip his shirt, pushing him away from me, forcing him to let go of my lips. We stand there for a long minute, panting, not saying anything.

“We can’t do this here.” I’m finally able to get the words out.

Roman smirks that damn look that says, “I can do whatever the fuck I want.” His hands cup my ass, forcing me to grind against him. My eyes close and a groan rumbles from my throat.

“Stop,” I pant. “We can’t do this here. Not in the House of God. It’s sacrosanct. It’s wrong.”

“Does it feel good, Jonah?” Roman lips brush against my ear. “My dick against yours?”

“Yes,” I hiss through clenched teeth, pleasure overriding the common sense part of my brain.

“Does it feel right? Me touching you like this?” His teeth nip at the skin of my neck. “Huh? Does this feel perverted? Does this feel like something you can just stop wanting?”

Roman’s hand moves to the front of my pants once again, his palm pushing and stroking against my dick through my pants. My hips buck against him on instinct, wanting more.

His lips drop to mine again, shutting down all logical thought. My hands move to his hair, pulling on the gold locks he wears so proudly.

Okay… I hope you’re ready for this…

Page 1, I’m flat out, ugly crying, like….body-wracking, soul shattering sobs. Think Farrah from Teen Mom, but like… worse, cuz I’m not on camera but in my room, feeling this kids’ words to God like I’d heard them before. Wanna know why? Because I have. This story hit me in ways that I was not prepared for and I want to tell you all the reasons, but I’ll spare you the pages of sob story for me and just tell you how I related to this so hardcore.

First, I was raised in a Pentecostal church with these very same rules and all the hate that accompanies them. My mom, though not as crazy as Jonah’s dad, were so similar. My heart broke for him and his home life because imagine…. Imagine that life. A kid, scared in his own home, pretending to be something he’s not and warring with himself because he wants so badly to change. To be normal. How heartbreaking, right? Then, starting highschool in a new town, the Bible Belt, where I live, he’s got to hide from everyone there as well, on top of being targeted by the most popular, untouchable highschool bully… The harassing that goes on here, is disgusting, and it made me sick a time or two at what he went through at the hands of them. Especially, Roman, the beautiful one that makes it all worse and better at the same time.

In the beginning… I did not believe that there was a single thing that Roman could do to redeem himself and all the ways in which he tormented Jonah. He wasn’t just a bully, he was downright criminal about it more than once. I hated him. I hated him so much!

And don’t get me wrong, I understand that a tough home life is kind of a staple for bullies, right? It doesn’t give you a free pass to be so angry that you assault people. Torture people… and I hated the way that he treated Jonah, and I hated the way Jonah took it because he felt like he deserved it in some way. He also really liked it, but that’s just an aside lol There were lots of reasons to hate Roman King.

Fortuntately, and I don’t even know when it started happening because nothing really changed in the way that Roman treated Jonah, but something changed in Roman. There is a triggering part in a locker room and I wish someone would’ve warned me about that, not that I get triggered by much at all, but I almost found it unforgivable. I’m still kind of warring with that. I don’t think it’ll be something I forget for a while.

So, living in a small southern town with the Lord on your back, I can understand how scary it was for these kids an I hurt for them. Also relatable because my own kid came out just a couple of years ago with the very same fears about the rest of his family. Those same prayers, asking to be struck down if he couldn’t be made normal… for God to change him or change his family that would cast him out. As he cried to me the night he was outed in middle school, begging me to let him leave at 13. Over my dead body, right? I said that I’d take the brunt of whatever fallout and I’d keep his secret and tell anyone whenever he was ready. When he was, I laid out our conditions and we were set to cut out any and all who had a negative word to say about my boy or his “situation”…. Even one word. I almost dared it.

That’s the way a parent is supposed to react when their baby has a secret that feels like it’s weighing down their soul. You take that burden because that’s literally what you signed on for. It’s your job.

I also hated all the parents… Jonah and Roman’s moms for being so weak that they couldn’t/didn’t put their babies first. What kind of mother does that make you? No mother at all, I’ll say it right now. Their dads, both of them, garbage. I won’t give either of them another word. I’m glad at least one of them got the karmic justice they deserved.

What I loved though, was Jonah’s little sister and biggest champion, Mary. I loved best friend Taylor and his mom Krystal. (I hope we see more of Taylor in what I hope will be future stories of not only these two, but also him)… I loved the school friend, Anna, and despite the emotional roller coaster that was this story, I absolutely fell in love with Roman and his possessiveness , though I still think he borders criminal and definitely needs some couseling for his need to hurt people to feel in control…. You can’t help but love him though, because he loves Jonah in the only way that he knows how, and he loves him in a way that’s kinda skewed, but that’s honest and raw and sometimes hurts… and to me, that’s the best kind. I don’t think that anyone could love Jonah more than Roman, and I think the same is true for Roman.

What a crazy, angsty, tear-jerking, terrible, yet amazing read. I really, really, really hope this isn’t it for them. It feels like their story is just beginning. 4 stars from me! I need more!

4 pieces of eye candy