Alexis Hall

Sometimes I think a book will be good because it’s by a bestselling author AND it’s through a traditional publisher. Sometimes I am wrong.

Sometimes I really don’t like the previous book by an author by really like the next book. Sometimes I am wrong.

Sometimes I learn my lessons. Sometimes I don’t.

What I did like about this book- that one of the main characters is a manager at a bed and bath store. Not a boutique, but not a big box store. He is a regular guy doing a regular job. A regular completely non-glamourous job. And I did like the second half quite a bit more than the first. But that first half was tough.

Some of the things the author used to, I assume, be quirky, were eye rolling. Calling products they sell by their full name. He didn’t trip and fall through a shower enclosure. He tripped and fell through the Nexa by MER-LYN 8mm Sliding Door Enclosure. And that entire title is used in every instance of the retelling of him falling through said enclosure. The same is done with a toilet seat and a mattress.

Several employees are written to be quirky as well. Mostly they were annoying.

So fake amnesia. Because that works all of the time. And man who started his own business and is successful would never, ever see right through it. But apparently it does work and the boss doesn’t see right through it.

Honestly it was so silly.

It did get a bit more palatable after they got past the “you’re my employee, this is wrong” thing. Jonathan became a bit more human. But Sam was still kind of an idiot. Jonathan’s family were a bit too “A Big Fat Greek Wedding” for me, but I warmed up a bit to them.

I was only determined to finish the book to find out how the ruse comes to an end. And still, meh.

Maybe you will like it. Lots of people seem to based on the reviews. But this was so not for me.

2.5 pieces of eye candy

Wanted:
One (fake) boyfriend
Practically perfect in every way

Luc O’Donnell is tangentially—and reluctantly—famous. His rock star parents split when he was young, and the father he’s never met spent the next twenty years cruising in and out of rehab. Now that his dad’s making a comeback, Luc’s back in the public eye, and one compromising photo is enough to ruin everything.

To clean up his image, Luc has to find a nice, normal relationship…and Oliver Blackwood is as nice and normal as they come. He’s a barrister, an ethical vegetarian, and he’s never inspired a moment of scandal in his life. In other words: perfect boyfriend material. Unfortunately apart from being gay, single, and really, really in need of a date for a big event, Luc and Oliver have nothing in common. So they strike a deal to be publicity-friendly (fake) boyfriends until the dust has settled. Then they can go their separate ways and pretend it never happened.

But the thing about fake-dating is that it can feel a lot like real-dating. And that’s when you get used to someone. Start falling for them. Don’t ever want to let them go.

Amazon

I’ve read a few of Alexis Hall’s books. Gritty, angsty, well written stories. So when this came up, it definitely seemed out of the norm, but hey- branch out, right?

Oh boy. Nope. Go back. Go back to gritty and angsty.

We have Luc. Son of two 80’s rock stars, although his father walked out when Luc was 3 and he hasn’t seen him since. This has turned Luc into a bitter person. And apparently a giant jerk and something happened in his young adulthood that led to him being black listed and the only job he could get was as a fundraiser for an obscure charity to save dung beetles. I don’t know how a disgraced, blacklisted person gets a job leading a fundraising charge. But whatever.

Because of whatever happened in the past, he is plagued by paparazzi catching him at inopportune times and making it look way worse than it is. The latest shot caught him tripping outside of a club, but made it out that he was wasted and passed out in the gutter. People start pulling their donations because he is unsavory. So to try to save his reputation, and the donations to the charity, he decides to get a fake boyfriend to last just through the big fundraising ball.

Enter Oliver. Friend of a friend whom he has met previously. The mutual friend had been trying to get them together because “you are the only 2 gay men I know!”. Ya, not the type of friend I would want to have. In fact, all of Luc’s friends kind of seemed like jerks. They basically tell Luc all the time what a loser and jerk HE is, but they are still friends with him. And he is all “oh, thank you for still being friends with me even though I am a jerk and loser.”

So the fake boyfriend thing is set up. And even though of course no one is supposed to know they are fake boyfriends, so many people do. The two complete idiots that Luc works for. No seriously, IDIOTS. And who talks that way? “Right so old girl”. Really? The way he spoke (and his fiance, who may or may not be his fiance because they are TOO STUPID to remember if they are engaged or not) was a stereotypical mockery of uptight British people.

OH! And Luc’s father shows up out of the blue because he has cancer. And Luc’s mother encourages him to get to know his father so he tries. But then it turns out his father is the same wanker he always was. And Luc’s mother was all “Ya, I figured. So sorry” (My eyes were bugging out at this point)

Oliver’s friends were EVEN WORSE than Luc’s friends. He is obviously the “token gay” because it is good to have a gay in your circle. They were horrid!

Oliver’s parents and brother were equally horrid! No wonder the man feels unlovable.

Now onto the fake relationship that of course turns real. It was pretty cute. I liked how there was no kissing, but touching, etc were negotiated. They were obviously both crushing on each other but didn’t say anything because of their own personal demons. And it seems that Oliver’s demons were worse because he instigated the inevitable break up.

Cue a scene so OBVIOUSLY taken from Notting Hill it was embarrassing. Luc and all of his friends pile into the ONE vehicle owned among them all to drive 5 hours (FIVE HOURS!?) to where Oliver is supposed to be. With them telling Luc how stupid he was the whole time. And then the scene with the front desk clerk at a hotel not giving them any information. And come on!

Can you tell I did not like this book? I seriously did not like this book. Everyone says Luc is a jerk, but really he isn’t and everyone around him is. Oliver thinks he is unlovable because of who he is, but really it is because of the way he is treated. The only side character that didn’t piss me off was Luc’s mother’s best friend Judy.

I’ve read other reviews. I know I am the complete opposite of most of them. Guess what? Don’t care.

2 pieces of eye candy