Denise

Ashley John: The first thing you’ll notice about Surf Bay is the people. There are so many
big characters, and if you work your way through the books from the start,
you’ll start to feel like you’re living in the town with them! You’ll probably
bump into Old Lady Evelyn, and she’ll probably give you some cake and lemonade
(because she’s nice like that), and you’ll probably notice the crazy amount of
hot, gay people wandering around the place. One of the characters once joked
that it should be called Surf Gay, because 80% of the characters we have seen
have been gay, and I think she was right (maybe there’s something in the
water?). It’s one of those places where the sun is always shining, and on the
surface, it would seem like the most perfect place to live, but it’s a place
with secrets hiding in the shadows. Some of the people there have been through
a lot, so I like to think their sad stories contrast with the sunny setting.

AJ: First of all, you’d find me rocking in the corner of my cell, crying and
shaking. I’ve never been in trouble with the law, and I don’t think I’d be able
to handle it. Obviously, I’m a good boy, so that will never happen. I think
I’ll be crying for food first, because I’m always hungry, so you can bring me
some food. Maybe a Big Mac meal (large please) with sweet and sour dipping
sauce? You can bring me some lip balm as well, preferably something containing Shea
butter, because my lips get really chapped, and it drives me insane (the gayest
answer ever?). I’d probably want a hat, or some dry shampoo, so I can hide my
dirty hair. Sometimes I hate having longish hair, so I tend to wear a lot of
hats, because I’m lazy.

AJ: A birthday party with Madonna, Gaga, Beyoncé and Britney? If they aren’t
available, I have no idea. I’m famously difficult to buy presents for, because
I never seem to want anything. Every time I’m asked what I want, I just shrug,
because there isn’t usually anything I want, which I haven’t already bought for
myself. I think I’m at that age now, where if I really want something, I’ll
just buy it, instead of waiting for somebody to gift it to me. When it comes to
presents, I prefer to give them, because I’m usually really good at buying
things for people. I always tend to buy ‘practical presents’, because I like to
buy things which people will use a lot, rather than something they’ll look at
once, and then put in a drawer somewhere. I usually go crazy at Christmas,
spending a crazy amount of money on people. If you can’t get hold of those
women for a fabulous party, you can book me an all inclusive 2 week vacation in
a 5 star resort somewhere. My idea of heaven, is lying on a beach with a
cocktail in my hand, doing nothing. If I could sleep all day and night, and do
nothing, I probably would, so why not do it under the sun?

AJ: Anybody who wants to tell me that gay men don’t use spit as lube can suck my
big toe. Say you’re on a night out, and you meet a guy, and decide to have sex
in a back alley, you’re not going to pull lube out of your pocket and start
fiddling with that, are you? You’re going to spit in your hand, and make do.
Trust me, it works. I’m not going to lie, lube is OBVIOUSLY better, but it’s
not always there, and if you’re horny, you gotta do what you gotta do. You
don’t want to start using things you find in your bedroom or bathroom, because
the chances are, that’s going to burn your insides. Somebody once complained
that my characters always used spit, instead of lube, and that it wasn’t
realistic, but if you actually go back and look at where and when my characters
have had sex, it’s usually not been planned, or it’s been in places where there
isn’t lube (although Charlie and Oliver used lube in Lost & Found, because
they were in Oliver’s bedroom, and he had a lot of sex, so…). I always look at
the situation, and the characters, and how they would have sex. Last time I
checked, there’s no rulebook, and I’m pretty sure gay cave men didn’t have a
shop to buy lube. If I had to, I’d choose lube for obvious reasons, but spit
works fine.