. .
SCOTTY
My boyfriend’s been trying to kill me for weeks. Well, I guess he’s my boyfriend. I mean, we’ve never officially been introduced, but he’s always standing in the shadows, watching me. That has to be a good sign, right? The first time I saw him, he was hunched down in my bushes, aiming a rifle at my heart, and he’s turned up with a new weapon every night since. As fun as our silly little game of Murder Daddy may be, I’m getting tired of having to steal my stalker-slash-boyfriend’s affection by disarming him and using his weapons against him.
BRODY
I’ve got to get my head in the game. As my agency’s top assassin, I’ve killed my fair share of men. When Senator Levinson placed his son on my hitlist, I figured it would be a one-and-done. I was wrong. Every time our paths cross, he winds up getting the upper hand. The things he makes me do once he’s pried a gun or a knife out of my hand are downright depraved, and for some reason, I can’t bring myself to stop it from happening. My wife tells me I need to just suck it up and get the job done. My wife’s boyfriend says I’m sweet on the guy, which is absolutely ridiculous. Even if I wanted to take advantage of our open marriage, I’m not gay. This man—this Freakshow—is completely unhinged, and the worst part is, I think I might be just as crazy as him.
F**ck, Marry, Kill Me, Daddy is a high-heat, over-the-top, absolutely UNHINGED, dual-POV, dark romcom that is equal parts insta-love and insta-lust. While one character is married, their marriage is open, and there’s no cheating between them.
Title: F**k, Marry, Kill Me, Daddy
Authors: Lance Lansdale
Length: 78k
Series: Murder Daddy, Book 1
Genre: Contemporary, Dark MM Rom-Com.
Amazon – Kindle Unlimited – All Regions
He looks around the room as if a bottle of lube will magically appear. I should probably tell him there’s one in my nightstand drawer, but I’d rather use his saliva again. I love knowing a part of him is inside of me. It’s a physical manifestation of the words he refuses to say. The things he refuses to do to me. A way he can fuck me without actually fucking me. With one finger still inside, I straighten the others, readying them for him. “Lube me up, Daddy.”
He pauses for a moment, considering. At first, I’m pretty sure he’s going to just spit on his hand and then slick my fingers, but he surprises me when he leans forward and sucks all four of my free fingers into his mouth, nursing on them like a calf to a teat. His tongue twirls around each digit, eyes opened, staring at my hole. He stays there for a while, and I realize I’m going to have to be the one to snap him out of his lusty little stupor.
“If you want me to slide another one in, I’m going to need my finger back.”
His eyes blow wide and he pulls away hastily, his hand still locked on my ass. “I don’t,” he practically shouts. “I don’t want to see any of this. You’re forcing me.”
“I know,” I soothe, because I do. “I know, Uri.”
“I don’t like this,” he whines.
“I know you don’t.” Lifting the blowtorch, I give him another smile. “I’m the big, bad twink, and right now you’re at my mercy.” He exhales a sigh of relief and grips my ass harder. The edge is drawing nearer, and I’m about to fall. About to lose myself in the moment, with the love of my life staring as it happens. “I’m—I’m gonna come. I’m about to—about to—”
“Fuck.” He’s so fucking awestruck right now. I’ve never felt more beautiful than I do right now. He’s staring at me like I’m a fucking god.
I can’t do it anymore. I need contact. “Please?” He might not know what I’m asking for, but it doesn’t stop him from nodding. Needing pressure against my shaft, I let the torch fall to the floor, then grip him by the hair and drag him forward until his cheek is against my cock. Thrusting feverishly, I can feel my balls tighten, and I hear Uri gasp in surprise.
“Here it comes.”
“Holy shit,” he whispers. His eyes dart up, and I stare into them, loving the way his face looks with my cock against it. “You’re gonna come on my face?”
“Please,” I whisper. I want him to tell me it’s okay. That he wants this just as much as I do. “Can I?”
His breath hitches and his eyes go dark. “Fuck. Scotty.”
“Please, Daddy. I need it.”
He blinks dazedly at me and opens his mouth, his words caught in his throat. He closes his eyes and inhales deeply like he’s trying to breathe me into him. “Okay. Yeah. Come on me.”
If you’re looking for a serious, angsty mm romance with lots of drama…look elsewhere. This is not gonna be your read. However, if you are looking for a “sweet” grumpy/sunshine, completely unhinged, large step sideways from reality mm rom-com, then this one might be for you. This book was fun, had me laughing through most of it, gasping a little at the level of heat in it, and surprised me with the tears it wrung from me.
Did I expect to love this book? No. Did I expect to like it as much as I did? Still no. But I enjoyed this book way more than I ever thought was possible considering the blurb. The author went completely into their imagination/fantasy-land and pulled out all the funny parts, and left us this book that you could never consider serious, but still want to put Scotty in a little box, safe from all things that could hurt him, including “Uri”.
I won’t give much away, because to truly understand this book, you just have to suspend disbelief and jump into the chaos. However, I will say I was surprised at the depth of emotion I felt when I wasn’t expecting to do more than roll my eyes. It wasn’t that AT ALL.
Go into it with an open mind, making sure to read the trigger warnings because there could be some, and have fun with it. You won’t regret the time spent with Scotty and Brody.
4 pieces of eye candy 
Lance Lansdale is the author of We Burn Beautiful and The Househusband’s Guide to Domestic Bliss. He writes swoony romance with an excessive amount of cuddle scenes.
Connect with Lance:
lancelansdale.com
instagram.com/lancetastik
Facebook: Lance Lansdale 
