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Two Chicks Obsessed with Books & Eye Candy

Sharing our love of M/M Romance

A Few Good Fish by Amy Lane: Exclusive Guest Post and Excerpt

August 29, 2018 by Denise

A tomcat, a psychopath, and a psychic walk into the desert to rescue the men they love…. Can everybody make it out with their skin intact?

PI Jackson Rivers and Defense Attorney Ellery Cramer have barely recovered from last November, when stopping a serial killer nearly destroyed Jackson in both body and spirit.

But their previous investigation poked a new danger with a stick, forcing Jackson and Ellery to leave town so they can meet the snake in its den.

Jackson Rivers grew up with the mean streets as a classroom and he learned a long time ago not to give a damn about his own life. But he gets a whole new education when the enemy takes Ellery. The man who pulled his shattered pieces from darkness and stitched them back together again is in trouble, and Jackson’s only chance to save him rests in the hands of fragile allies he barely knows.

It’s going to take a little bit of luck to get these Few Good Fish out alive!

Title: A Few Good Fish
Series: Fish Out of Water: Book Three
Author: Amy Lane
Release Date: August 28, 2018
Category: Mystery/Suspense
Pages: 281

Amazon

Dreamspinner Press

“Sh….” Ellery slicked his hair back from his face and whispered to him as he collapsed limply, Ellery’s long limbs sheltering him from the cold outside their little bed.

“Sorry,” Jackson said, blinking hard, irritated at himself for losing sight of his plan. He was supposed to keep control, dammit. He was supposed to blow Ellery’s mind, not get swept away in the sexual tide himself!

“For what?” Ellery asked tenderly.

“Was trying to make it holy,” Jackson told him, lost enough to tell the truth.

Ellery struggled out from under him, pushing Jackson to his side while Ellery rolled over to face him. “Tell me this wasn’t!” he demanded.

Jackson grimaced. “Do you have to?” he asked. “I mean, if our sex is holy and shit, doesn’t that mean you don’t have to go?”

“Nobody is holding a gun to my head! Goddammit, Jackson, do you not get why I have to do this?”

“Aren’t you too late to go this week?” Jackson asked hopefully.

Ellery laughed, grim satisfaction in every syllable. “I set the alarm early so we could have breakfast.” He glanced over his shoulder. “And you know what? We still can.”

Jackson grimaced. Dammit. “But….”

Ellery’s expression softened, and he reached out to brush Jackson’s cheekbone with his fingertips. “Baby, why does this bother you so much?”

Jackson scowled. “Because if you’re thanking God for me, God’s going to show you what a mistake that is, and I like it here.”

With a groan and a heave, Ellery rolled off the bed. “There is no talking to you about this! Now get in the shower, and I’ll make pancakes. And no! You can’t wear jeans!”

“But you said I didn’t have to get out of the car!” Jackson hollered, finding a clean set of boxers in the dresser Ellery had set aside for him.

“I lied! You at least have to visit the outside, dammit!” Ellery grabbed his sleep pants and his sweatshirt from the folds of the covers and started dragging them on.

“But won’t I burst into fire?” Jackson asked, only partially kidding. His past… oh God. His past wasn’t checkered, it was chicken-pocked! “I mean, won’t you get kicked out and excommunicated if you show up with me next to you?”

“No, Jackson, they’ve got a big ol’ reformed-slut alarm that sounds as soon as you step foot on the ground, and then a force field shoots up, separating us and catapulting you to purgatory for the length of the service. After your first six visits, they give you the option of walking there on your own while a sorcerer whispers arcane words and tries to set me up with a doctor, because that’s just how Jews roll.”

Jackson stared at him, cheeks flushed with color, fine brown eyes sparkling with righteous anger, and like it usually did, the thing in his chest melted into a gooey little puddle.

“I can see your sarcasm is functioning well this morning. Isn’t that going to taint the pancakes?”

Ellery struggled to keep his mouth firm. “I can make my pancakes both strawberry and sarcastic. But if you want whipped cream, you’re going to have to shut up, get dressed, and let me have this. Understand?”

Jackson let out a sigh. “If I see anybody there in jeans, I’m not wearing slacks next time.”

“That, too, is understood.”

“And if anybody gives you shit about the gay—”

“We shall find a temple that has no shits to give. Also understood.”

“If you find someone there who’s better than me….” He scowled and stared at the picture of them Ellery had put up on the end table, Jackson looking uncomfortable in his best dinnerwear and Ellery smiling charmingly for his father, who was perhaps the dearest man Jackson had ever met. The picture had been taken outside Ellery’s parents’ house in Boston over Thanksgiving, and while Jackson could say for certain it had been a good time, every single memory he had seemed to be tempered with the stomach-churning anxiety he was dealing with now.

An Ellery Cramer and a Jackson Rivers did not make sense in any way, shape, or form. The longer they were together, the more Jackson looked for the chapped, palsied hand of fate to try to rip them apart. And every time Ellery said he was being ridiculous, Jackson had to walk away, because the fact was, he had almost died—twice—since the two of them had gotten together in the summer.

If that wasn’t God trying to tell Jackson the facts of life, Jackson didn’t know what was.

So Ellery going to temple out of some sort of weird deal he’d made with the big guy—on the one hand, it never hurt to suck up to the person in charge.

On the other hand, Jackson was a fan of the old Irish saying “May you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you’re dead.”

In this case, he would just as soon nobody, God or devil, even knew he was on the planet. He’d had forces bigger than he was meddle in his life, and he had the layers of scar tissue to show he’d barely survived.

“If I find somebody who’s better than you,” Ellery snapped, bringing him to the present, “I’m not the one he’ll be hitting on.”

Jackson scowled at him. “You’re being stupid.”

Ellery’s thin lips curled up into a smile. “So are you.”

“Fine. Fine, I’ll go. I’ll even be a grown-up. But Ellery, those had better be some damned good pancakes.”

Ellery rolled his eyes and grabbed his robe, swanning out for his exit, singing “My pancakes bring all the boys to the yard…” as he went.

After he left the room, Jackson allowed himself a fond smile. God, he really was being ridiculous. Who over the age of twelve pitched this big a fit over church, or temple, or whatever?

But as he jumped in the shower and started to wash, he just couldn’t shake the unease that knotted in his stomach.

For much of his life, things like food, shelter, basic safety—things Ellery had taken for granted every day of his life—had been dreams to Jackson Rivers. Now, living with Ellery in his posh American River Drive house with cavernous rooms and real wood floors, Jackson had food and shelter and, God help him, emotional safety on a daily basis.

He was just waiting for God to stop helping him and rip it all away.

But Ellery seemed to think Jackson was worth keeping. Jackson wasn’t going to dissuade him, because frankly, that hadn’t worked at the beginning of their relationship, and after what had gone down before Thanksgiving, it certainly wasn’t going to happen now.

 

A few lines from Fish Out of Water explains it best…

 

Very slowly, he turned his head and saw that Ellery’s mother was pushing the red button on his morphine drip, and he smiled dopily at her.

“You’re not supposed to do that,” he said, knowing his eyes were at half-mast and not caring.

“Darling, what use is being shot if you’re not stoned to the fucking gills?”

There was something very wrong with this woman. Something amok. But Jackson was out of pain and—

“Ellery…,” he mumbled. “Don’t let him get shot.”

She stood over his bed and smoothed back his hair, much like her son had. “Sweet,” she said, as though he’d argued with her. “My family doesn’t much do sweetness. I think this is a good trait in someone marrying in.”

“You’re evil,” he said. “Pure Satan.” And then he giggled, because hey! Who didn’t need six or eight doses of morphine at the same time? “No bullets for Ellery.”

“Darling,” she purred, “why should you get all the fun?”

“Wha’s your name?” It seemed like he needed a better one than Satan.

“Taylor,” she told him, raising a sculpted eyebrow.

“Imma call you Moostifer. Boosimer. Lucy in the Satan tree with diamonds!”

She laughed then, and her image went all red with little horns and a pointed tail and a goatee.

Then it split into a thousand different pictures of Ellery’s mother, Lucy Satan, laughing her ass off.

And then he fell asleep.

When he woke up, evening was lowering. Lucy Satan was stretched out daintily, dozing on a cot, her ankles crossed above her unshod feet and three or four pillows under her head.

Alex was fixing Jackson’s medication.

“Whoo, boy,” Alex said, seeing him waking up. “Someone sure did want you out of it. I don’t even think you can reach the button.”

“It’s her,” Jackson said sourly. “Lucy Satan. She’s evil.”

“Mrs. Cramer? She’s an angel!”

*

In the first book of Fish Out of Water, we are introduced to Ellery Cramer’s mother.

She is… formidable.

Jackson—who is very comfortable with strong women—is not comfortable at all with mothers.

His own mother was a complete and total loss. His second mother—Jade and Kaden Cameron’s mother, who took him in and helped him survive adolescence and taught him about family—lived just long enough for him to venerate her, placing her on a pedestal and no other woman could compare.

Ellery Cramer’s mother—for all her money and her different circumstance—is very much like Toni Cameron.

She is practical, smart, mercilessly exacting when it comes to the behavior of the people she loves, and ruthless about protecting anybody coming into her family circle.

Jackson is terrified of her.

By the time book three rolls around, her identity as Lucy Satan is firmly established. She’s listed under Lucy Satan in Jackson’s phone, and when he particularly wants to get under Ellery’s skin he calls her that to Ellery’s face. (“My mother’s name is Taylor!”)

But the minute things go wrong, she’s the first person on the call list.

I gave her big shoes to fill—Toni Cameron is Jackson Rivers’s ideal, and to make matters harder, Toni has passed on. There’s no time to examine her for faults and defects (as we often do to our parents in our twenties and thirties) and come to the conclusion that everybody is human and even the ideal parent is going to have some glitches.

So it’s important that she lives up to Toni Cameron’s memory—and that, when we see her be human, and Jackson, bless his broken little heart, has to realize that he still loves this woman like the mother he deserved, even when she’s not perfect.

And Taylor, Goddess love her, is just fine being larger than life.

In fact she’s ready to embrace her role in Jackson’s life with all the power at her command.

*

“Do you have backup?” she asked sharply.

“Getting some now,” he said. “Guy who got taken with him has a friend in special ops. Going to contact him, make a plan—”

“Not alone,” she snapped. “You are not to go in alone—”

“Mrs. Cramer….” And to his horror, in front of Sonny, his voice broke. “I gotta get him back. You know that—”

“Not alone, Jackson. Is that understood?”

“We’ll get him back, ma’am,” he rasped. “I promise.”

“Jackson?”

“Yes, ma’am?”

“Unless my son is dead, you are to call me Lucy fucking Satan, do you understand? And even then, calling me Mrs. Cramer is right out.”

 

Mother, knitter, author, wife, fur-baby wrangler, dreamer–Award winning writer Amy Lane writes romance because the voices in her head are real and she wants them to be happy at the end.

 

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Filed Under: Author Guest Post, New Release Review, Quick Reviews, Release Day Review, TCO Exclusives, TCO Reviewer: Denise Tagged With: Amy Lane, author, blog tour, Book Excerpts, Book Reviews, excerpt, exclusive, gay, guest post, lgbtq, m/m romance, mmromance, new release, romance

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We are two chicks who love books (m/m romance with an HEA) and enjoy our eye candy. http://twochickso

Two Chicks Obsessed with Books and Eye Candy

6 days ago

Two Chicks Obsessed with Books and Eye Candy
✨PREORDER NOW: PARAYZE by @jj_asher_writes releasing July 13th! #PreOrderHere mybook.to/paralyzeWhy you will love this book…🔥Forbidden🔥Brother's Best Friend🔥Age Gap (21/34)🔥Forced Proximity 🔥Opposites Attract 🔥Grumpy/Sunshine🔥Bi-Awakening 🔥Hurt/ComfortCarey—twenty-one, flirtatious and sun-kissed, chasing a place that feels like home. His latest bright idea? Fly halfway across the world to a town he hardly remembers, to crash for the holidays with his estranged older brother who he's scarcely seen in the past sixteen years. Only to arrive on his doorstep to find that brother AWOL and the entire contents of his apartment strewn across the front lawn of the apartment building.Tek—thirty-four, exhausted, and barely holding it together. Deserted by his best friend and business partner, he's left to carry the weight of a tattoo shop in the aftermath of an affair that sent staff numbers from four to one in the space of a single afternoon. He keeps his world small, and his hookups controlled on purpose. Then Carey walks in like a damn storm, making Tek question everything he ever knew about himself. Including why he can't stop thinking about the golden tan of another man's stomach. Tek turns Carey away but desperation rewards his persistence with a job offer, and boundaries start to blur. Tek knows better. He's spent the last decade with the world at arms length with iron clad rules that he breaks for no one, especially not the sunshine-smiling younger brother of his runaway best friend. But the more Tek resists, the more Carey leans in, and the line between right and wrong starts to look too appealing not to cross.Abandonment may have brought them together, but loneliness is what keeps them close. And the one thing Tek swore he'd never reach for again might just give him the extra strength he's always needed. ✨INFLUENCERS: Sign up to release events here: bit.ly/PARALYZESIGNUP#comingsoon #jjasher #mmromance The Author Agency ... See MoreSee Less

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Two Chicks Obsessed with Books and Eye Candy

7 days ago

Two Chicks Obsessed with Books and Eye Candy
✨It’s cover reveal day for DON’T FALL by @authoremlindsey releasing July 1st!#PreOrderNowa.co/d/00RZxM7KWhy you need to #ONECLICK this book…🔥Enemies to Lover🔥Forced Proximity🔥Only One Bed🔥Praise Kink🔥Grumpy/Sunshine🔥Grumpy falls first🔥Hate Sex🔥Best Friend's Brother🔥MM Romance That’s it. My neighbor has to die. There’s no other way around it. The man must be killed—and I’ll even find a way to do it gently, but this cannot go on.Okay, maybe I’m a bit dramatic, but living next to my brother’s best friend who decided to befriend the crows that spend all week spreading garbage across my lawn is not what I signed up for.I wanted quiet.I wanted peace.I wanted to stop fantasizing about the gorgeous man I couldn’t stand.Unfortunately for me, North is a big presence with an annoyingly sunny smile and a way of making life sound like it’s worth living. And as a widower who wants to spend the rest of my life wallowing, the last person I want around is one who makes me question my new life’s purpose.But these feelings can’t be real, can they? I had my great love, and I lost him. So that’s supposed to be it for me.Isn’t that the way things go?I can’t seem to stay away from North, even when I know I should. And when he starts to make me feel like maybe there’s another happily ever after out there, I find that as cautious as I’ve taken each step, I’m on the verge of falling once more.Don’t Fall is the first book in the small town, enemies to lovers, heavy yearning, MM romance series, Storm Season. It features a virgin EMT whose smile is hiding a lot of things, a disgruntled, grieving writer who just wants solid sleep and a good meal, neighborhood crows wreaking havoc, cooking lessons, hurt/comfort, and a toe-curling happily ever after.✨INFLUENCERS: Sign up here for this amazing release: bit.ly/DONTFALLSIGNUP#coverreveal #emlindsey #mmromance The Author Agency ... See MoreSee Less

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Two Chicks Obsessed with Books and Eye Candy

1 week ago

Two Chicks Obsessed with Books and Eye Candy
✨EXCERPT: DEVIATE ME by @daphne.thorne.author releasing May 27th! #PreOrderHere a.co/d/0footXlx Damien jumps out of his bed and quickly crosses the room. His soft, naked steps on the hardwood floors remind me of when we were just kids. When he’d sneak from his bed into mine, so that I could shelter him from the loud arguments our parents had all the time. And that’s exactly what he does now; he crawls into my bed.Oh, no . . . Holy shit.I stop breathing as he gets under the covers and curls into a ball next to me, nuzzling his face in my neck. It’s been years since he’s done this. We were both children when it started, and it was a completely innocent thing. It was normal to wrap my arms around his tiny body and let him sleep where he felt safe. Even when we were much older and we’d already run away from home, he’d done this when he’d felt really upset. And I never thought anything of it.This time, however, is different. I can’t stop my skin from erupting into goosebumps, and my heart from beating hard against my ribcage. I can’t stop the rush of blood towards my groin either, which is probably the worst part. Damien’s breath is hot against my skin, and he smells heavenly. His scent reminds me a lot of honey and mint.Fucking Jacob chose his nickname pretty well . . .#mmmromance #daphnethorne #spicyromance The Author Agency ... See MoreSee Less

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Two Chicks Obsessed with Books and Eye Candy

1 week ago

Two Chicks Obsessed with Books and Eye Candy
My review:Hat Trick by EM Lindsey After reading book 1, I couldn't wait to read about the other brothers. We knew from book 1 that it was going to be Micah and Vanya. They had started dancing around each other in book 1.Man, Micah is DAMAGED. Not only his childhood, but his adulthood as well. And then he tops it all off with a stalker that he swears isn't a stalker but ya, he's a stalker.Vanya has nothing but heart eyes for his pretty little goalie. But, in my opinion, takes way too much crap from Micah. But he never gives up. He slows down and steps back but never gives up. Gotta give him patience and tenacity points.When things begin to escalate with the stalker, Vanya always seems to be there to help- much to Micah's chagrin. Remember, always treating Vanya like crap. Which killed me because he is such a teddy bear!We meet one of Vanya's brothers and can we say stereotype Russians much?Although Micah did soften up in the end and Vanya got the love he deserved, there was still a little too much I didn't like. I really hope book 3 is better.3 pieces of eye candy ... See MoreSee Less

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Two Chicks Obsessed with Books and Eye Candy

1 week ago

Two Chicks Obsessed with Books and Eye Candy
✨Let’s celebrate! It’s release day for HAT TRICK by @authoremlindsey! Grab it in KU!#OneClickNowa.co/d/0io1BhPZWhy you need to #ONECLICK this book…🔥Friends to Lovers🔥Only One Bed🔥Sexual Awakening🔥Hockey Goalies in love🔥Grumpy/Sunshine🔥Hockey Bro Banter🔥Praise Kink“For five million dollars, would you send a relative to jail?”"Bud, I would pay five million dollars to send a few there."Problem number one: Almost everything the world thinks they know about me is a lie.Problem number two: Two people know the truth.Problem number three: One of those two is a stalker and he's having a blast using that informationagainst me to get his way.The good news is, the second person who knows the truth about who I am seems pretty dedicated totaking my stalker down.The bad news is, it’s NHL goalie Vanya Maximov, and he and I had a one night stand that I can’t stop thinking about. And while Vanya might be walking sunshine so bright he can make even my blind ass see light, we have no business being together.I’m a mess, and while Vanya is everything I’ve ever wanted in a partner, he deserves better than me.If only he was willing to listen to reason. If only he was less stubborn and able to give up on a lost cause.But with his ability to give me exactly what I want—a little pain with my pleasure—and his refusal to treat me like I’m fragile, something dangerous starts happening.I’m beginning to think that maybe—just maybe—he’s right, and I am worth everything he sees.Hat Trick is the second book in the Punk as Puck spin-off series, Legends and Fury. It’s a high heat, friends to lovers romance with a sunshine NHL goalie who also might be a golden retriever in disguise, a PPHL goalie with big black cat energy, a stalker, and no faith in himself, hooking up in a friend’s car, praise and pain, high stakes romance, hockey bro banter, tons of chirping, and the swooniest happily ever after.#newbookalert #emlindsey #mmromance The Author Agency ... See MoreSee Less

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