My home is my sanctuary. Or is it my prison? Some days it’s hard to tell.
I’ve confined myself behind these walls for protection. I have my reasons, but that doesn’t change the profound loneliness I’ve discovered in the process.
Then one day I find myself drifting toward the window to see him. Corey Marshall, my new neighbor. Quiet, reserved, and cute as can be. He infects my thoughts, becomes the image I fantasize about.
I want to taste his lips, smell his scent…feel what it’s like to be inside him.
And soon, watching becomes exchanging gifts and messages, which becomes so much more.
It’s wrong to want this as badly as I do, but I can’t help myself. I crave him so desperately. It’s hard to tell if what we’re doing is going to make me lose my mind or change my entire world, but it’s too late to turn back now…
I’ve never been quite right. Too high or too low. Pain is my constant companion…at the hands of my abusive ex, and often from myself. The sweet relief is only temporary, but in those moments, it’s like I can finally breathe.
Then I meet him. Silas Rizner calms the chaotic storms inside me. He makes me feel loved, treasured, even when I don’t deserve it. I cherish the moments we share–cooking, cuddling, and when Silas reads to me until I fall asleep. When he’s inside me, it’s the only time in my life I’ve ever felt complete.
Silas becomes the glue that holds me together, that bandages my scars. Inside the walls of his home, we’re almost safe, but our demons are always there, waiting to break free.
We’re a mess. We’re broken, chaotic, beautiful; we’re in love.
But not even love can slay our monsters. No, only we can do that.
Unless our monsters destroy us first.
TRIGGERS: Self-harm, depression, anxiety, mentions of past domestic violence.
*While the sexual situations depicted in Beautiful Chaos are imperative to the characters’ development throughout the course of the novel, readers are advised to peruse the “Dear Reader” letter at the beginning of the book to help them make an informed decision about whether this particular story will be to their tastes. This letter can be viewed in the downloadable sample or by using the “Look Inside” feature found on the title’s product page.
Two broken characters. YES! I am a glutton for angst, broken men, tears, the whole shebang. And this had it.
There are people out there who either won’t enjoy this subject matter or cannot read it. The authors put a very thought out “letter to the reader” at the beginning to let you know what you were in for.
I am going to veer from the norm though and say that this story could have been more. For me at least. I totally get why they weren’t more though. They were so sweet together. Just.So.Sweet. I guess that surprised me a lot. For two damaged men to just be so gentle and timid with each other.
Anyway. I loved how the story started with them leaving notes for each other in their windows. How fun is that? Like finding a note in your school locker. But then they moved on to chat. And text. And video chat. Until they finally met in person. I know how weird that is. But ultimately so cool. I have quite a few friends only online. So when I get to actually meet them- it is the weirdest and coolest thing.
Moving on. It was also sweet how, even though they went much further on video chat, they stayed with kissing for a while. It’s almost like starting all over. They pretty much knew what to do with a phone or computer between them. But in person, it’s all new.
This whole story could have bored me. COULD HAVE. But didn’t. I mean, really, almost the entire book takes place at Silas’ house. There are a few scenes at Corey’s job, but mostly it is just the two of them at one house. But it wasn’t boring. We got to know them as they got to know each other.
The story kept moving without getting bogged down or skipping ahead. Well, except at the end but that was kind of necessary. These guys broke my heart, made me cry even while cheering them on.
It’s an emotional read, but a really good one.
4 Pieces of Candy